Losing interest

I never had to try to write. Whenever I would sit down, there were a zillion things I wanted to talk about. I guess something has changed. Now even when I sit down to write, all I end up doing is analyzing my thought process. :) Which even to me is very boring , leave alone all those who persevere to wade through it.
When I had written that Seattle took away something on one hand, I don't think I put it in strong enough words. It took away the very foundation of my belief in relationships. I tried so hard to grasp on to something that I guess I had to let go of it all. Coming to terms with that, rather learning to accept has been the hardest thing in my life. The good thing ofcourse is, you know nothing can hit you harder. So I think my everyday pangs of worrying, fretting, anxiety have visibly reduced. Everyday is a great new day now because nothing that could happen could hit me as hard as the truck that already did.
And somewhere some part of me is dead, because what I believe in no longer exists.
We were having this discussion the other day about how, to everyone their worries seem the hardest and most important in the world. I am no exception, I have so often tried to rationalise with myself that there might be worse things in life, I just can't end up convincing myself.
Oh ...I think I am plunging too much into me myself again :) (seems kind of contradictory seeing that the entire blog is about that.)
I think I read this saying somewhere "Hope is the quintessential essence of man." So hoping, maybe I will start believing again in what I thought was once true.