Considering that I have completed a quarter century of my life, you would think that I would be over feeling disgruntled, nervous/scared, anxious about exams. But I don't think I will ever grow out of the school-grown fear of facing question papers. Come exams, and my mood takes an about turn. So consequently, there is a dark black cloud hanging over my head which I don't think will go away till Wednesday. And then ofcourse, it will be "I am totally free, and I don't know what to do now with my time " clouds. :)
I came across this article in our college paper today, which , to quote, says:
"The question of what happiness really means and how it can be achieved has been a topic of deep human thought since Greek philosophers like Aristotle and Plato began to discuss the true meaning of 'eudaimonia', the Greek word for happiness.
They said the experience of happiness is satisfying and pleasurable, but in order to be truly happy in life, pleasure should not be the ultimate goal. They believed that an excess of materialism or physical pleasure would ultimately lead people away from happiness, instead of to it.
A study reported in the current issue of Scientific American:Mind shows that these Greek philosophers were right in suggesting that happiness does not follow financial success.
The study illustrates the human tendency to habituate to material goods and return to a set point of happiness after their basic human needs have been met. ....
But people can also increase their set point of happiness by engaging in certain exercises and cognitive practices.....
The best way to be truly happy is to have friends and work towards your goals.
Happiness should not be thought of as some sort of ultimate outcome. Happiness is first and foremost a means to achieve your goals by having happiness as a cushion that will break your falls in life and allow you to stand back up even stronger. "
A lot of funda ?? For me it was an interesting read on an otherwise cloudy day. :)
The weekend however was very different. I have always thought of writing about Luann but I think I have always just mentioned her. We have a program in our university called International Friends which pairs up foreign students with local families, so that there can be an exchange of cultures while building strong friendships. My international friend is Luann, and since the time I came to Tucson, she has been my omni-present silver lining. Through conversations, weekend outings (to a different activity/event/restaurant every time), through fun, and banter and advice and just hanging out together... she has been more than a friend to me throughout my stay (I may add that she has been a reason for my stay). Guide, mentor, friend, sister... she has been all-in-one. I had been out with her this weekend too and we talked about everything from buying a car to setting up my home to yoga classes to just about everything under the sun.
What saddens me most about leaving Tucson sometimes is the fact that I won't be able to hang around with her and enjoy her company... that she will not be there in Seattle !! There are some people who can spread sunshine in other's lives just by being themselves, and Luann is one among them. She is my first inspiration in Tucson, my second being my professor, Dr.Snodgrass. If I ever (and thats a big if) fulfil my dream of becoming a professor, then I want to be someone like the guide and mentor that Dr.Snodgrass is to his students.
The second thing which brightened up my weekend was: Vishnu and Tom, very sweetly surprised me with an advance birthday celebration, just bcoz we would not all be together during my actual birthday. So they planned it on a day exactly a month before my actual birthday and I was very touched. :)
I remember final year in college, when I had had three birthdays just bcoz my friends would not be there with me on the D-day. And each one was so much fun with the surprises, the cover-ups and later, all the piecing it together. Well, thanks to Tom and Vishnu, I was able to relive all that.
And to have a whole chocolate mousse cake all to yourself, well what more can you ask for. :)
We were all very tired at the end of the day but that did not stop us from playing Scrabble, and did not stop Tom from passing off words like vees and voom, of which, much to our chagrin, we found later that voom does not exist (Yes, vees it seems is a legitimate word). Nevertheless, we had not spent time together like this in a long time, or laughed so much in a long time. :) Hence, I could not agree more with the article..... that friends and family are all the buffer you need for happiness.
3 comments:
Nice article on happiness. Thanks for sharing it. Even though, what actually constitutes happiness is difficult to define, the article does provide some good pointers. But, reading only what you have printed, I think it’s takes a little too cursory view of happiness without actually going into the sociological, psychological or philosophical aspects of it. I think, conclusions drawn on subjective topics like happiness should be evaluated with care. I agree with the fact that an excess of money or a hedonistic lifestyle does not bring happiness and we don’t need to read Aristotle or Plato to tell us that. Just looking around our world should suffice. Since this is topic on which we can discuss till kingdom come, it’s probably prudent to stop sooner. Btw, as far as I know, college newspapers are always in print and so were wondering if you actually typed up the entire thing. If so, kudos to your patience!!
“ Luann is one among them. She is my first inspiration in Tucson..”
Yes, I remember reading about LuAnn, who is a judge in Tuscon (if I am not mistaken), in one of your earliest posts. It’s amazing how some people change our lives in ways we cannot imagine.
“If I ever (and thats a big if) fulfil my dream of becoming a professor….”
So you plan to pursue a PhD later? That’s a nice dream to have, although having been close to a lot of professors myself I know it’s not the easiest job in the world, especially in this country and at a time when federal funding is dwindling and companies are setting up research groups in countries like China and India. However, I hope you will talk to professors before you decide to pursue it. Often jobs which look ‘cool’ or romantic at the surface may not be so at their core. Although, let that not discourage you. Good Luck with your dreams
“ So they planned it on a day exactly a month before my actual birthday and I was very touched. :) “
In all your posts till date you have never talked about your birthday or birthday celebrations; just mentioned it in passing. In your June 14th, 2005 post you mentioned “ I will talk about my birthday in a later post..” but we didn’t read anything about it later. Probably you got busy or forgot. Anyway I noticed that your profile says Gemini, but I thought May 21st was a Taurus, but then what do I know about astrology (-:
“And to have a whole chocolate mousse cake all to yourself, well what more can you ask for. :)…”
A whole chocolate mousse cake all to yourself ?? …….wow ! (-:
“Hence, I could not agree more with the article..... that friends and family are all the buffer you need for happiness…”
Good conclusion and a nice post. All the best with your exams on Wednesday (-: (It's 8 o'clock in the east coast already)
You have touched upon a very interesting and debatable topic -- "Happiness versus pleasure". I have tried (mostly in vain) to figure out the true differences between the two. Based on talking to other people (sometimes even arguing) and my own little experiences, the thoughts expressed by you seem to correlate with the perception I (and perhaps many others) have in some sense. So it is too hard to escape from putting forth my (perhaps laymanish) view of it.
In an abstract sense, you seek pleasure by indulging in activities that entertain you for a short period of
time. Although the experience is good, you are often let down by the end of it because you want more of it but it is infeasible to keep doing it all the time. This is true with many carnal and material pleasures. On the other hand the pursuit of happiness is not always pleasing but it is for the greater good. Many a times it comes through pain. For instance, the grad school you are attending puts you through lots of painful experiences. But each one is a lesson and having learnt from those you are "happy" at the end of it all. In this case you probably will not experience it explicitly but it will remain with you for the rest of your
life.
Let me drift away from the above for a bit and try to make an argument based on human nature. Every human, regardless of being poor or rich mostly leads a "happy" life on average. So how come a poor man is happy without having access to all those material goodies as the rich one. It perhaps lies in the human nature of feeling "happy" when one achieves the goals one has set for oneself. The goals set by the poor and the rich guy are different but each one of them is achievable within one's limits and this keeps one happy and going. Perhaps a way of keeping yourself "happy" is about setting achievable goals and reaching them. Another thing I have learned about being in a happy state of mind is to appreciate the small things you have rather than cribbing
about things you do not have yet. Our inherent nature is good at ignoring the gifts we have been given and always
worrying about what we do not have. Personally I think it generally keeps us going well if we learn to appreciate
whatever we have. There seems to be some evidence supporting this, which is one of the ideas professed in a positivity course taught at a leading university
(see http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/03/10/harvards_crowded_course_to_happiness/?page=1).
Sorry about wasting so much space with my crude thoughts. Hope it made at least a little sense!
Good luck with your exams and do give enough thought before embarking upon a doctoral plan. Happy belated early birthday!! :)
p.
Seattle beckons..aaro char din and then freedom !! I hope you have already started looking for rental apts. Since the Amazon office is close to downtown, you may not have to buy a car immediately (depending where you are staying)as there are quite a few buses from diff. parts of the city. www.metrokc.gov is a good site to check bus schedules, but you probably knew about it already.
There is also a very useful site which gives real-time data on buses (using an applet) and their locations and you can find out exactly where a bus is.
http://busview.org/busview_launch.jsp
However, if you choose to buy a car (provided your H1B has been approved), then buying it in the first few weeks often makes sense.
Good Luck settling down in Seattle and take care(-:
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