I seem to have given the impression that I am in love with Tucson and will miss it a lot when I leave. If I have done so from the scattered posts about sunsets and flora and fauna of my university, it has been in error. If I have ever been in love with Tucson, it has been by literally digging up every stone and rock and trying to find things to distract me. If I have ever written about memories and reflections that I enjoyed, it is because they were the only ones and there is nothing more I can write about.
Oh come now, you would be saying. A place isn't hostile by itself, your attitude is. Well for me, the only oasis in Tucson was Luann. I still believe she is God's gift to me and without whom I would not have survived the "life" here. I have made friends in Tucson by freak accidents, :) commonly shared blog interests (Ramya -I also took my first driving steps in her car), reading, hobbies, movie fans, old friends(Vishnu :) and friendship ties that brought her to Tucson) and working relationships (Lopa :) and our forays to Starbucks). If anything I have been so surprised by the relationships in Tucson that last for the semester, till when you need to have group work and projects and assignments done together. And then its just a hi or maybe not even that. And maybe I should not blame it on people, but on the fact that nobody has time for friendships outside of courses. But coming from where I did, it took me two years to figure that out. And believe me I am still trying to adjust. :) So if its an attitude problem, I am sure its not mine alone.
Ofcourse, we are all in that fearless twenties. Everybody get-set-go on their careers. The most lucrative job, the most comfortable life (your slice and only yours)....... its more about holding on to those dreams and making them come true than anything else. Maybe sometime, when we are older we will have the time to look back on well-established careers and then concentrate on the respective social circles. I just happened to catch people at the wrong time in Tucson I guess.
But each one to his own..........and I have my countdown which nevertheless, everyday, brings a smile to my lips by virtue of being one less. ...... 41 and counting. :)
p.s: If I sound disgruntled, its probably because I am.
6 comments:
Yes, I must agree that you seem a little disappointed and bitter…or are you confused?...Maybe our problem lies not in finding and nurturing meaningful relationships, but in defining our relationships with people and our expectations from them.
I empathize with your feelings and please be assured that you are not the only one. I have had very similar experiences, which often made me wonder if there was something wrong with me. All those late nights in the lab, working on assignments or projects, all that sharing and bonding, all that camaraderie suddenly didn’t seem to matter anymore. Sometimes I had to step in front of people to get a “hey, how are you?” or elicit a smile which acknowledged my presence.
But as the saying goes, “to have a friend one must be a friend” and I wonder if our way of reaching out to others is at fault. I am not quite sure about the statement that ‘nobody has time for friendships’ and it would be wrong to extrapolate our experiences with one group of people to other groups as well, or arrive at incorrect conclusions and generalizations about people. That would probably not be a fair assessment and I am sure you would find people like these at Amazon/Seattle as well.
We have been made to believe by external influences (TV, newspapers, media etc) that it’s a dog-eat-dog world and every man (or woman) for himself (or herself). But if we look closely, we will discover that the truly successful people (in any area) are those who have cultivated/nurtured great relationships and friendships with their peers. That lucrative job, that comfortable life and the fulfilling of dreams may not be half as sweet unless we have people (other than family of course) to share it with (it’s not without reason that solitary confinement is considered one of the toughest forms of incarceration).
Anyhow, that was my 2 cents. I hope you can enjoy the remaining 41 days in Tucson and take away something positive from this place, because surely Seattle wouldn’t be any easier or different.
qq = ??
Oops !!..I hope I haven't peeved someone (-: ....and surely I didn't deserve a post ..
Btw does it matter whether u know me or not? Hope you don't mind me reading your blogs. You write extremely well ..actually after reading your prolific blogs (and I have read almost all of them !!), revealing my identity would be a joke to you and an embarrassment to me and it wouldn't do either of us any good. So I am a little hesistant.
Although if it helps...no you don't know me....or at least ...not yet !! (-:
:) No you haven't peeved anyone. I felt you knew me and I for the life of me couldn't guess who it could be.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the compliments.
My apologies if I had inadvertently given you that impression and glad to know that all's well in 'iblog land'.
Also, thanks for deleting the post. I am not always very comfortable under the limelight. Although I knew you would delete it anyway (-: . Blog real estate is precious these days and and no amount of precious server space can be justified in the name of queen and country (or in this case a total stranger !).
Btw, the pleasure of reading your blog is entirely mine. Good schools like Carmel, Loreto ,LMG etc are often known to excel in creative writing.
I'm honored to be mentioned on your blog:) glad we were able to create something meaningful that I know I can lean on even if there are days and months that separate one moment from another.
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