Yesterday's Sunshine.......

When he came running up the slope ................ the mountain had seemed greener till a few moments before, the clouds a little nearer and the far away mountain slopes not so far away. But the world changed when he burst out shouting ....he had made it. He had just got news that the University had accepted him. There was hardly any time now. He would have to be there within a week or lesser if possible. I had never felt the ground slipping away from beneath my feet so fast. I turned away ...I think I did a good job of hiding some persistent drops of water in my eye .......and I am sure he did not guess. But I have later asked myself many a time........wouldn't it have been better to have let one stubborn tear drop escape and fall just so that he would have seen it ........ and realized and stopped and never turned to go away again. From that moment we hardly got time together. He never guessed or tried to realize the unspoken words......and I ......waited. I have no idea for what or why. It had just seemed so complete........him, with me , suddenly. It could hardly have been six month that he had intruded into my life, my mountains......... a new neighbor, eager to make friends, to get to know the people around. Before, the peaks sloping away in the distance .......had always seemed so remote yet so familiar. Somehow everything changed after he came. I had known myself to be independent and to know all...... after all this was where I had grown up. How could someone show me more about what I had explored and trekked so thoroughly. And yet he made me learn more about those same mountains that I had known more than him ....sometime. We ...would stand hand in hand at the edge of the slope............ drawing deep breaths from the steep incline in front of us and the vast greens behind. Those warm hands clasped in one another's...................... those clouds which bore witness. It seemed as if that was life. ...... this was life. There couldn't have been anything more complete....... than the understanding we shared. The dependency that had grown, the support we craved for from each other........ taking for granted that the other would understand..... it was not that we didnt fight. We would not speak to each other for days and then suddenly one of us would come running to show the other a new butterfly ...... and all the brawls would be forgotten. We saw the world through the colored eyes of a child and never knew when time overtook us....... and never realized that we would have to move on. And the same slopes that had been our playmate stood mutely watching as we said goodbye. A hurried goodbye kiss, a train waiting somewhere ........ it didnt wait for him to understand..... or did he. I always wondered whether he heard me say what I didnt say, I so wished he would. So wished he would stop and turn. I needed him so ...did he not need me too. I had always dreamt how when I fell in love everything would be perfect. My hero always at my side and always at my bidding. And I had realized that love was nothing like that. Love demanded as much as it gave........ but I had walked the world in his shoes and I wanted to share his life just as I had made him a part of mine. I stood alone on that slope that evening ....... it had been a long time since the mountain had seen me alone. And I wondered if it had been jealous ....and I smiled to myself and I felt the mountain echo my smile. And I turned to make my way back home as the lights started coming out ....dotting the cottages on the mountain side. inspiration : eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, a song playing on my ipod which must be "i never saw blue like that ", and alone at home ........