Too abstract a post

Everybody has a past and we really don't give much time to think about it in our fast-paced lives. Its probably as some of you might argue, what people do when they have nothing else to do and failing memories. But sometimes there are these connections ..... and you are transported back in a second - and there you are...... standing in your school auditorium reliving a particularly embarassing moment or remembering and smiling to yourself at how you caught your parents acting Santa Claus.
If I sit and look back .....(not that I should be doing it, considering that I am in the middle of trying to get a filesystem working .....but both the monitor and I have taken to staring at each other for long intervals now and I thought I would take a break) the past that meets my eyes is one that kept getting better with time. And anything and everything that I could think of or want or wish for, I have had ......... maybe not at the time that I had wanted it but definitely when I had the maturity to accept it for what its true worth was and not just at face value.
With time, I have gained more acceptance not just because of myself but inspite of myself and those are things (things here do not even remotely come close to the word material) that I truly treasure because I know I am too lucky too have them. But further back in time, there are so many things that even if I were faced with today, I would try to evade , avoid .......... they were not unpleasant in themselves but I had lacked the courage to face them as I often have now as well.
But once I left my school days and went on to college, circumstances were such that I could not turn back and even if I have cried to go back to college after the long holidays at home ........... final year made up for all that in one swipe. You realise what you truly had when the time comes to part from it. College brought that realization to me more than once.
I sometimes wonder how important is acceptance, or rather if I may rephrase the question, how important is it to me...... and I know I give being accepted a lot more importance than I should.
I wonder if its the same with others as well......... and then I wonder (well you know how one trail of thought leads to another to another.....) why do I have this tendency to belong to a group and not just stand up alone ...... aside and independent. :) Maybe I was not built that way.
Everybody lives life on their terms, standing up for some principles that they believe in and believe to be right .......... and in the midst of it , in the midst of all this mumbo jumbo philosphy they are still trying to breathe and live and laugh ............... and in the midst of all of that , somewhere is where I should start learning to ..... too.