Thursday, April 28, 2011

Something's gotta give

Sometime ago I had this vision of shattering glass - all I saw (yes, with my eyes open :)) was glass shattering all around me. Needless to say that scared my husband and mom quite a bit. :) I felt I was going off my rocker too but I guess that has to wait.

Right now, I feel I am caught in the middle of two worlds. I have my work on the one hand (even though I feel I have let myself stagnate a lot since I joined) and on the other hand I have my family and friends. I hear the same thing from my friends in the professional sphere - we feel trapped - in the environment, in the drudgery, in feeling this was not what we had imagined for ourselves, in believing this to not be our destiny ............... and yet each of us, powerless in our own way to face ourselves and take the step that would really end all this, all we have to do is actually look into ourselves, just plunge into our own depths and introspect but naahh................ each of us are poised at the precipice hovering between compromises and life and a plunge into the unknown .......... why, you ask - fear of the unknown, insecurity, money (which sadly enough is not the least of our worries) - I have written lesser here than what I have left unsaid - but I am sure people in the same boat will get me.

Coming back to my professional sphere where things are thriving around me - so much so - jumping ship at this point would be classified as 'A' degree tomfoolery. All around me - people or developers or code-monkeys as we prefer to call ourselves reveling in doing what they love - really !! I can't believe I am saying that. I don't believe each and every smiling face is not hiding a level of frustration underneath - peers, managers, deadlines, compromises, coding but then again not coding.


Ahhhh - am I even writing this - seriously !! I don't know whom to feel more sorry for.

Something's gotta give.


Given that you now know my current level of frustration, it shouldn't be difficult for you to guess the songs which have taken over me.

Goodbye by Air Supply - (I think I am hitting a million rewinds on this one)

All about us by T.A.T.U. - (close second)

The Reason by Hoobastbank 


When you are in a particularly bad mood or just feeling sorry for yourself - I am sure the songs above will help. Even though they are just incense to depression but each one boasts of a unique musical prowess which you can only appreciate on hearing and getting hooked to it.


No comments: