A little bit of .....

Well so I had thought that I would never cry again or feel bad when I watched romantic movies by myself. And guess what!! nothing on that field seems to have changed. I just watched Just like heaven and cried my heart out :). I just wish I wasn't sitting and watching it alone.
And in between the movie, there is a scene where David (Mark Ruffalo) I think starts talking about his wife who died. And he talks about all the things that she would mess up and could never deal with and he is crying when he says all this to Lizzie(Reese Witherspoon). And I just realized that he doesn't talk about the sunshine in her hair or what she did right or great, I realized that its not just the good things about a person that you fall in love with, but also his or her small mistakes, their ways of everyday life, their small.... eccentricities or habits ..... like maybe making coffee without milk or just using a coaster whenever you need to place a wet glass on the table ........ which suddenly become so much a part of your life that you never realized when you gave them this whole space in your life, when you fell in love with them and all that is theirs and when you started missing them when they are not there.

So I also decided never again to have a dog in my life. I have one, his name is Bruno and he is a golden retriever. It is surprising that I am writing about him so late in my blog, when he should have been one of the first entries. He has this chocolatey golden color, and a bright red collar when he goes on his walks. I did this whole tantrum thing just to get him, in my ninth standard. I looked after him for maybe about 3 years before I left for Trichy and left all due responsibilities to my mom.
He is probably the person to whom I have cried to the most, all my homesickness..... all my not-wanting-to-go-back-to Trichy moods....... he has this habit of lying down against you back to back , stretched just like you are as if he is no less human, and sleeping away the glorious afternoon by your side. And he would get all confused when I cried, and try to lick away my tears.......maybe because inspite of telling him, he never understood my words. Or maybe he understood but didn't know how to make me feel better. He always seems to understand what my mom is telling him though, and trusts her the most in translating human to doggy language. My brother and I have lied to him so much to get things done, that I guess he stopped trusting us long back.
He is pretty old now, and I am really thankful to have been able to have spent time with him when I went home last December, just because I never thought he would survive through another winter. I don't know if I will see him again when I go home next time and I know I will miss him and his warmth and the little space that he created for himself. But lets hope for the best till then.
I guess that's how I started writing about him in the first place. It's the most hardest to have to do without the things you most care about, and without knowing have come to love .... and miss...... if that makes sense. :)