Till date I have seen very few people who have, once they have committed to a relationship actually been able to divide time proportionally between friends and their better halves. And everytime I see such a pair I am filled more with respect and awe. Because according to me that not only shows that the pair involved are mature enough to maintain their relationship at a certain level, and do not suffer from "I have to talk to you every minute" or "I have to spend each remaining minute of my life with you" syndromes. It also shows (to me) that the pair know how to have fun without being dependent on their other half all the time, they know how to proportion and enjoy their time among their friends as also with their bfs/gfs. It teaches me how important it is to "balance".
When I was in college, (not that I am not in one now), once somebody was seeing someone (if I may put it that way) the lesser you would get to see of them. They only wanted to share things with that one person and spend time with that one person. With all due respect, that they were in a new-found relationship or love or whatever, for heaven's sake your pair is the person you will end up spending the rest of your life with. But as far as your friends are concerned, that will never be true because your paths will diverge.
But I am being unjust here in not attributing sufficient credit to the fact that a relationship is where you feel loved and wanted and adored and respected. So it isn't surprising that you would want to spend maximum time here. What is surprising is the factor that time plays...... in your relationships, in your friendships, in your family. Everybody feels loved and wanted when you give them a little of your time ...... it increases their self-esteem that you actually consider them fun or comfortable to be with. And time for others is probably what you would not have in a relationship :).
Forgive me for my incoherent blabberings. I think its an irremediable infection.
6 comments:
Hmmm...couldnt agree more,especially with regards to college....but dont you think it all always begins that way? As time passes,that is when maturity comes...just that we dont normally get to see the "mature" face of that in college I think.And btw,when you do start "seeing" someone,I will remind you of that[:)]
words of wisdom - where did you get to know all this ? ;-P
on a serious note -- its often found to be true, "always on the phone thing". Aren't the ladies who 'generally' press for the 'call me all the time, cause i am a damsel in distress' ? ;-)
not true ... its more of a mutual thing..in college it was a thing of showing off for the guys I guess but even guys are tending towards insecurity these days ... and why wouldn't you want people to share your day's incidents with you ..especially if its a special someone ?
and why wouldn't you want people to share your day's incidents with you
--> well..er.. he he .. always-on-phone would mean, not exactly sharing the incidents, but actually giving them live commentary :-D
Balance is a sign of maturity.
Most of the cases you described suffer from insecurity, and exaggerated feeling of care.
Those who dont realize balance early, realize it lately as;
"Striking a balance is a necessity, as it is practicality left after all that hu hu ah ah is gone."
Bottom line, sense of security and trust.
~ Soul
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