To all the writers who don't think of themselves as one......(and I could just rattle off names till I ran out of fingers to count) maybe you should try it before you dismiss it so dismissively. Ever since I have come across blogging and bloggers, I have found this amazing power of self-expression in nearly everyone's writing....and to think that there are so few writers in the world.
Well, below is an extract of a mail I got....which was amusing and entertaining and kept me laughing all through and I did warn the writer of the outcome of it being put up on my blog. With that I wash my hands off it and leave it with a bit of a background.....
The convocation ...yes the same one which I missed was held on july 23rd, and almost everyone from hyderabad, made it there. I had wanted to know how I would be getting my degree certificate, sinceI would be absent at the ceremony. This, sort of, comes in the dusk of it ......
Tring Tring.. Tring Tring..
Chid: May I speak to Ms. XYZ please?
Me: Speaking
Chid: No you are not speaking..
Me: I'm busy shopping these days
Chid: Yeah I know, but I thought you would have enough time to mail atleast
Me: No I dont
Chid: ok.. just wanted to tell u that you should be receiving the degree certificates within this week.
Me: ok. I will take care of that
Chid: And btw if you remember, I had asked you to msg me when u had the mobile with you
Me: I told you I dont have time and morover, I dont speak to Indian guys anymore
Chid: Hmm.. this was the girl who once said she would "keep in touch". ok then.. take care.. do feel free to drop a word or two when u r free :) bye
(And just incase you were thinking about it ...... the content is purely a conversation imagined by Chid and is not represented by facts (as all the serial title lines claim nowadays)).
Well......:) all I can say is...... just that.... I am glad for such moments which make me smile and remind me of my friends spread all around the globe (I guess I sure can say that now :) ).
Friday, July 29, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
Of decisions
I like writing for the simple fact that I can ramble on without beginning or end.....start somewhere and end somewhere completely different. And the greatest pleasure it gives me is the thought that someday I most probably will revisit and laugh at these memories or essays or blog-bits or whatever you can call them.
Now, that I am at home the most common question people usually ask me is "what do you do all day ?". Well I definitely don't sit in front of the computer hours at end, nor do I catch all the movies and saas bahu serials on tv. Books ..yes, they were always my first love and continue to be...though I do admit (and Monika, Sapna and Koms will probably corroborate this) that I should expand the genre to cover sci-fi, comedy and horror rather than only sentimental and romantic novels. Yesterday after a long time, Maa was reading out tagore's peoms to me. I had one childhood favorite...its about a little boy who is actually dreaming about this troupe of his, his mother riding beside him in a palki (palanquin). He defends and saves his mother's life from a group of dacoits who suddenly attack them. The cry of "haare re re re re" that the dacoits raise was one of my most favorite parts of the poem .....in its suddenness and its intensity. But ofcourse there are many poems and stories and songs more befitting my age which I should have but never did read. Maa read out one such, its called "shesher kobita". Its about a boy called Amit who liked to stand out for the fun of standing out.....he would adorn the opposite of what was the fashion trend and praise with full arguements that, which probably did not deserve it. His inclination towards girls was of the kind ...curious but not interested. He meets this girl on a mountain trip...and they fall in love. But in the end the girl leaves him to marry someone else....and she sends him a poem in the last letter she sends him ........which is how the story gets its name. The poem is famous.......for the fact that the simple lines strike true.....I don't remember the words exactly but the girl says
that amit has worshipped her as a goddess, in all her goodness
but now she goes to give herself to somebody who will accept her
for what she is ....as a human being with her own faults and values......
Before visa, I was sort of in the middle of the ocean with a no next shore to land on. Getting the visa brought back a lot of confidence and relief ...that yes, finally something might be, possibly coming true. I have written about this before ......about the confusion that confounds us all with what is best for us, the best next step. And I have to admit, the uncertainty which was preying and gnawing at me ....has completely disappeared. But it hasn't got replaced with enthusiasm. When Ayan asked me if I am excited about it, I did not for a moment know what to say . It just does seem like going back again to Hyderabad......or Trichy for that matter. Maybe I still cannot comprehend an eighteen hour flight over the pacific. So, when Maa speaks about it as a long journey and about not returning for quite sometime.......I can hardly comprehend or share. And it is then that I ask myself whether it is really worth it ....this going for myself, for my interest........... and the host of worries and distances that did not seem to matter for so long now come crowding back.......as if stretching a rubber band of time, distance and memories.
When I look back at the last month of eating and sleeping .......(and gaining kilos :)) the permanent thing that I have is company , whether of Bruno curling up beside me during the afternoon naps and keeping his eyes tightly shut so that no amount of cuddling and petting could disturb him, whether of my brother screaming at me for the remote or me scolding and re-scolding him , whether of Maa coming back from college and sipping her tea......(Baba is transferred to bakreswar) ........................
well there were lots of times when I felt as if I did not have an itinerary for the day like maa's college or Tukan's school.....but even then, staying at home and working at a nearby office or staying overseas and studying was a conscious decision I took......and I am still wondering at what cost !!!
But till then , latest harry potters await , and I am thankful to Tukan I got a second day hand at that and it took me two more days than him to complete...... :), and I missed my convocation and wearing yellow robes, and we dined out at hyatt as my treat ..... and time to go back, life is waiting. :) come to think of it ..... this is life too ......
:) :)
Now, that I am at home the most common question people usually ask me is "what do you do all day ?". Well I definitely don't sit in front of the computer hours at end, nor do I catch all the movies and saas bahu serials on tv. Books ..yes, they were always my first love and continue to be...though I do admit (and Monika, Sapna and Koms will probably corroborate this) that I should expand the genre to cover sci-fi, comedy and horror rather than only sentimental and romantic novels. Yesterday after a long time, Maa was reading out tagore's peoms to me. I had one childhood favorite...its about a little boy who is actually dreaming about this troupe of his, his mother riding beside him in a palki (palanquin). He defends and saves his mother's life from a group of dacoits who suddenly attack them. The cry of "haare re re re re" that the dacoits raise was one of my most favorite parts of the poem .....in its suddenness and its intensity. But ofcourse there are many poems and stories and songs more befitting my age which I should have but never did read. Maa read out one such, its called "shesher kobita". Its about a boy called Amit who liked to stand out for the fun of standing out.....he would adorn the opposite of what was the fashion trend and praise with full arguements that, which probably did not deserve it. His inclination towards girls was of the kind ...curious but not interested. He meets this girl on a mountain trip...and they fall in love. But in the end the girl leaves him to marry someone else....and she sends him a poem in the last letter she sends him ........which is how the story gets its name. The poem is famous.......for the fact that the simple lines strike true.....I don't remember the words exactly but the girl says
that amit has worshipped her as a goddess, in all her goodness
but now she goes to give herself to somebody who will accept her
for what she is ....as a human being with her own faults and values......
Before visa, I was sort of in the middle of the ocean with a no next shore to land on. Getting the visa brought back a lot of confidence and relief ...that yes, finally something might be, possibly coming true. I have written about this before ......about the confusion that confounds us all with what is best for us, the best next step. And I have to admit, the uncertainty which was preying and gnawing at me ....has completely disappeared. But it hasn't got replaced with enthusiasm. When Ayan asked me if I am excited about it, I did not for a moment know what to say . It just does seem like going back again to Hyderabad......or Trichy for that matter. Maybe I still cannot comprehend an eighteen hour flight over the pacific. So, when Maa speaks about it as a long journey and about not returning for quite sometime.......I can hardly comprehend or share. And it is then that I ask myself whether it is really worth it ....this going for myself, for my interest........... and the host of worries and distances that did not seem to matter for so long now come crowding back.......as if stretching a rubber band of time, distance and memories.
When I look back at the last month of eating and sleeping .......(and gaining kilos :)) the permanent thing that I have is company , whether of Bruno curling up beside me during the afternoon naps and keeping his eyes tightly shut so that no amount of cuddling and petting could disturb him, whether of my brother screaming at me for the remote or me scolding and re-scolding him , whether of Maa coming back from college and sipping her tea......(Baba is transferred to bakreswar) ........................
well there were lots of times when I felt as if I did not have an itinerary for the day like maa's college or Tukan's school.....but even then, staying at home and working at a nearby office or staying overseas and studying was a conscious decision I took......and I am still wondering at what cost !!!
But till then , latest harry potters await , and I am thankful to Tukan I got a second day hand at that and it took me two more days than him to complete...... :), and I missed my convocation and wearing yellow robes, and we dined out at hyatt as my treat ..... and time to go back, life is waiting. :) come to think of it ..... this is life too ......
:) :)
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Full circle.
I read a post in the telegraph by this guy called Samit Basu. He writes a regular column called Look in the Telegraph. His comment was on Parineeta and went somewhat like this :
"If you have savoured watching parineeta as much as me then you probably would not have missed the last scene which resembled a cement ad.With Saif trying his hardest to break down a wall and none of his friends or family lifting a finger to help him and not even pointing out that there is a gate some three steps ahead - quite heart-rendering."
By the time I got to the heart rendering part I was laughing aloud. :)
Its refreshing to read people who have their own opinions and say on different matters....because its only then that you can think and rethink about the ideas that you had formed.
I have always found my brother to be more of a quiz enthusiast than me anyday...(he will gobble up any news piece and quiz me about it later and find immense pleasure that I will be staring blankly back at him).... and till sometime back I had also known him to be a america sycophant. It is only now that I realise that he is equally critical of the policies and american politics as the rest of us.... (or the ones who are concerned with discussing everything under the sun are). I however had had a complete overhaul of my opinions .... it seemed a great place to tour ....(one of THE reasons to study there). Their economy was thriving. People were so much in praise of it, I was told I would never want to return. Its cleaner there.....then the money factor ofcourse :) .......and life was much easier with everything or most of the things being readymade or automatically done for you. (I wonder when America got the head start !)
If any of you ever come across jhumpa lahiri's Namesake, it paints a very different picture.... a very different picture which makes you want to start re-thinking..... do you really want to head to this place at all! Its a picture of lonely Indians, to whom relatives are the static noises over telephones and webcams. Good news and bad news are but just that... there cannot be celebrations because you cannot share...cannot share physical proximity with the people to celebrate with. A place where you start celebrating and enjoying traditions like guy fawkes day and halloween ...irrespective of the fact that they are not/ were not what we grew up with. The book so far as I have read it... deals with the children brought up there who now find home-coming alien. Sort of the ABCD(american born confused desi) category. But then I recently read that nris are coming back to India. Now that is probably the best of both worlds. Earn and save in dollars and spend in rupees :)...............
Money factor .... now why that is important is hard to say. It is money which makes the world go round.(to a certain extent looks too ....we were hotly debating on this with my mother saying looks don't buy anything and tukan and me opposing her). Probably because with a certain amount of money comes a certain lifestyle, a certain level of comfort ...and once you get used to that ... bye bye to all those budgeted spendings. But then money buys you comfort not happiness. At a certain point money ceases to matter ....its then where the satisfaction level comes in....not with work alone but with life. And that depends on how comfortable you are with yourself .... bcoz only then can you make others feel comfortable around you. Well, by the amount of fundas I can write I am sure to follow on the tail of The monk who sold his ferrari :).............
So at the end of it ...its just a full complete circle ....... starts with you and ends with you ...... but it has a whole world of people in between the two 'u's..... and its yours to choose how delicately you handle it....... be happy ... nothing else matters and this is what matters most ...:)
"If you have savoured watching parineeta as much as me then you probably would not have missed the last scene which resembled a cement ad.With Saif trying his hardest to break down a wall and none of his friends or family lifting a finger to help him and not even pointing out that there is a gate some three steps ahead - quite heart-rendering."
By the time I got to the heart rendering part I was laughing aloud. :)
Its refreshing to read people who have their own opinions and say on different matters....because its only then that you can think and rethink about the ideas that you had formed.
I have always found my brother to be more of a quiz enthusiast than me anyday...(he will gobble up any news piece and quiz me about it later and find immense pleasure that I will be staring blankly back at him).... and till sometime back I had also known him to be a america sycophant. It is only now that I realise that he is equally critical of the policies and american politics as the rest of us.... (or the ones who are concerned with discussing everything under the sun are). I however had had a complete overhaul of my opinions .... it seemed a great place to tour ....(one of THE reasons to study there). Their economy was thriving. People were so much in praise of it, I was told I would never want to return. Its cleaner there.....then the money factor ofcourse :) .......and life was much easier with everything or most of the things being readymade or automatically done for you. (I wonder when America got the head start !)
If any of you ever come across jhumpa lahiri's Namesake, it paints a very different picture.... a very different picture which makes you want to start re-thinking..... do you really want to head to this place at all! Its a picture of lonely Indians, to whom relatives are the static noises over telephones and webcams. Good news and bad news are but just that... there cannot be celebrations because you cannot share...cannot share physical proximity with the people to celebrate with. A place where you start celebrating and enjoying traditions like guy fawkes day and halloween ...irrespective of the fact that they are not/ were not what we grew up with. The book so far as I have read it... deals with the children brought up there who now find home-coming alien. Sort of the ABCD(american born confused desi) category. But then I recently read that nris are coming back to India. Now that is probably the best of both worlds. Earn and save in dollars and spend in rupees :)...............
Money factor .... now why that is important is hard to say. It is money which makes the world go round.(to a certain extent looks too ....we were hotly debating on this with my mother saying looks don't buy anything and tukan and me opposing her). Probably because with a certain amount of money comes a certain lifestyle, a certain level of comfort ...and once you get used to that ... bye bye to all those budgeted spendings. But then money buys you comfort not happiness. At a certain point money ceases to matter ....its then where the satisfaction level comes in....not with work alone but with life. And that depends on how comfortable you are with yourself .... bcoz only then can you make others feel comfortable around you. Well, by the amount of fundas I can write I am sure to follow on the tail of The monk who sold his ferrari :).............
So at the end of it ...its just a full complete circle ....... starts with you and ends with you ...... but it has a whole world of people in between the two 'u's..... and its yours to choose how delicately you handle it....... be happy ... nothing else matters and this is what matters most ...:)
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