I didn't really quite imagine it this way.... forget imagine, I never thought fairy-tales happen in real life.... I was almost giving up on love itself and then I found it.... :) somehow .... maybe out of wishing fountains and what-nots or maybe wished something to life out of a Monet painting.
And yet, I was the one who resisted it, from the beginning..... wished to be blind ...can you imagine, after reading all my posts, I thought I would know better to recognize love when it walked in. :) But I didn't.
I haven't been writing for a long time for this very reason... my mind is never so coherent now that I can get all my thoughts out and make sense.
They seem to be understood by only someone, and I would not have it any other way.......... :)
Once I share my life as it happens with him, I really can wish for nothing else to make me feel as good about having shared it as he did. At one time, this blog was my way of reaching out..... of feeling understood.... :) and I am putting it in second place henceforth and forever.
Even when I write today, or maybe its becoz I am out of practise..... I am getting stuck or tears seem to be welling up inside me. :) I don't know if thats what happens when you are very emotional, or when something so beautiful walks into your life that you cannot imagine its true, when you feel so small in front of a bigger universe and at the same time...... wish and hope that what you feel inside, what can hardly be contained in that small throbbing heart of yours is visible to everyone..........when you can't stop smiling for no apparent reason.........when you see people smile back at you as if they know and understand what you are going through..... when all you see or think when you try to concentrate is someone or hear his words echo in your head.........when you hear your thoughts reflected,when things that you may have imagined or thought of or dreamt of as in a fairy-tale but never voiced to anyone ......is reflected in the actions of someone else, and you think how did he know :) , when what you want to speak next and the expression you want to use is spoken out before you voiced them and you wonder if he is reading your mind..... is that what this is all about :) ?
I had to get back to writing, and even if its a small start , its a start..... If it wasn't for the glitter of a ring on my left hand, I would still probably think I am dreaming this all up. :)
