Aztecs , Indians and Ice-cream

Tucson has suddenly become cold..... its freezing when you stand in the shadows and warm , rather hot while walking under the sun. Luann, Shalini and I settled down on the lawn of the Arizona State museum where there was a mexican mask exhibition in the museum along with Indian (red-indian) jewellery displayed. Mainly ornate silver, german silver , brass and copper necklaces, bracelets, and belt buckles. Some of the necklaces had bear claws. There were even two pictures of the Red Indian, one in his office as a member of the US senate and one in his traditional costume with the feather head-dress and painted face. It sort of time-ported you to a different century.

Outside on the lawn, there were 4 girls and an old-man whom we later came to know was 63 years of age. Two of the girls were in the white flowing dresses with the head-bands...... like red-indian girls in pictures. The other two had elaborate head dresses on, with long feathers which swayed in the wind, and white and black dresses, and anklets which were actually made from seeds. The old man had long flowing gray hair tied back with a band. One of the girls had a rattle while the old man and the other girl held these hand-drums covered with cloth with short batons. The three of them formed a circle around a small platform which was arranged with two strands of the corn plant and some smoking incense and a conch. Then the drum beats started and simultaneously the three of them started their dance. They moved in and moved out, swayed and turned , constantly moving their legs, crossing them , bending and squatting and jumping back. The beats of the drums increased in tempo and then fell silent in waves. ......If you have heard the "dhols" of durga puja in Kolkata, you would know how your heart pounds to the echo of the drum beats, then you woul dprobably understand what I am talking about. I remember one time when as a girl I had been to this pandal as we call it, the place which houses the deity. I was right in front where the dhakis where.....the drummers. Then they slowly started playing their drums and moving around in a circle. The drum beats kept increasing till they were a deafening roar and the dhakis were dancing in a mad frenzy in the grip of their own beats..........pardon me for using a science term here, but it was probably the resonance of the drum beats with my heartbeat which made it pound so as if the sound was echoing through me.

At the end of the dance the old man talked about himself, an Indian, an aztec ...long washed out of history books. Did I not tell you that it was like being tele-ported to a different time. The last I think I had heard of Aztecs, was as one of the zones in the Crystal maze. But then the way the dancers were offerring their prayers to the sun, I did get a hint..... And also maybe bcoz as far as my limited history knowledge goes, I know of only the Incas and the Aztecs as those who worshipped the sun. The first dance as the old man later explained, was to ask dance to let them dance, which was amusing to hear.
Nevertheless, after that the three of us headed to Penguins where we tried out Peach Pumpkin, German Chocolate , and Chocolate Obsession flavors of ice-creams. Sitting under the warm Tucsan sun and eating our ice-creams while they melted ............ :) what could be better.

But thats not all what I have been doing on this long weekend due to Veteran's day. I got to watch three movies in two days. It started with Casablanca, and me falling head over heels over Ingrid Bergman and the story ....though I wish all old movies didn't turn out with such sad endings. It was a movie I had heard lots about......... and finally got a chance to watch. Then my department arranged for Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie (based on a book by Roald Dahl by the same name) to be screened using the projector in our classroom. This was part of the regular Thursday movie nights in our department. Only that, I haven't had a chance to attend many. This was a childrens' movie. There were a lot of songs and dances which I felt had direct Bollywood choreography influence. The movie did drag at times. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka did not disappoint but he had a face masked with paint which hid a lot of his charm. The youngest boy from "Finding Neverland" starred as Charlie in the movie.

Later in the night, taking things a step further, Shalini and I watched Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've got mail" for what must have been the fourth time for me. But I still did not remember all the scenes and many of the scenes brought different reflections this time round. Maybe I am getting old........they say that a book like Pride and Prejudice and other masterpieces should be read once every year or two .....bcoz each time it will bring a different meaning ..........bcoz of the change in your maturity and mentality and age. :) But the relationship that is shown in the movie has alwas been one of my favorites bcoz it so unknowingly touches your heart. "..but the dream of someone is still there......."- Meg Ryan. It just sets you off on one of the dreamy moods of the holiday season. Not that I do not dream on a weekday ......;)

Well ....a good weekend gone by and another week to look forward to. Semester is fast speeding by ........ it sometimes seems like I just arrived and yesterday was the 7th of August when I landed .........and sometimes it just seems like ages since I have seen home.

A spoonful of sugar....

Well the title of this post comes from the movie "Mary Poppins", starring Julie Andrews. It however does not have anything to do with the fact that I just finished watching "Sound Of Music" also starring Julie Andrews. But believe me, whenever you feel like losing yourself, and forgetting the world for sometime.......a movie is so much the spoonful of sugar you need to make the medicine go down.
Our professors here tell us to read a research paper more than once so that on the first reading, the idea becomes clear. The second and subsequent readings help you to analyse and criticize what has been done and proposed. I think , and don't kill me for the analogy ....that a movie works in quite the same way. I am not talking about every third movie ......but the masterpieces which are worth it and which you do watch a million times. Each time there is a little more detail that you pay attention to and which you would have glossed over the first time. It maybe the slight twitch of the eyebrow, or the pun at the end of a conversation or just the way that a card was flicked.......... its just what had added to give you the feel the first time that you saw it.....and which you are noticing only now.
Well ...by the amount I have been going on about movies, I should probably write my thesis on it rather than any computer science topic.
I sometimes feel I am so not meant for Computers. I should have taken Literature and studied about Jane Austen......... What all mistakes people end up making!! And all because computers seemed so glamorous when I had to take the decision about my career. I know I had refused to consider any other option because this seemed so much the "in" thing.
I should maybe take up something like creative writing as my minor now. That would be interesting ...I have even heard about courses in writing fiction and short stories.
What I would write before.... were mainly, rather only, stories - love or murder (because the only twist my love stories would have was getting one of the pair killed at the end :) ) ......... where the girl or heroine usually had long hair with curls bouncing on her shoulders. :) Yes sounds exactly like a sunsilk shampoo ad.
Anyway, right now when I write .......there are no heroes and heroines to compose stories on. And its more the story of my life, as and when it happens. Sometimes when I go back and read it ..........I can't say turn back the pages, hitting the back button of the browser would be a more appropriate term, I feel my life or anybody's life for that matter is so of a story. I think all of them would be great to write about.
And guess what!! I could become a celebrity overnight by writing them. Ahh! If only dreams had wings ...........:)) Well goodnight for today.....I guess three blogs in three days more than makes up for any blog writing inactivity in the last two months.

(I should maybe put up a warning in the description of this blog, "Do not venture to read unless you want to be gobbled up by abstract dreams and figments of imagination. I felt like using the word altruism in the last sentence.......I think the word means truth or practise. It has a very nice melody to it, but I just couldn't make a suitable place for the word in the sentence. Anyway it still finds a place.....if only in the next sentence. ")

To end with :
Climb every mountain, cross every stream,
Follow each rainbow till you find your dream.
- Reverend Mother
&&

To laugh like a brook that trips and falls over stones on its way,
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray.
- Maria
&&

I have confidence in confidence I have.
- Maria

&&

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.
- Nuns at the abbey

&&

Have you ever walked the footsteps of a stranger,
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew.
- Colours of the wind , Pocahontas.

The Truman Show

I find so much similiarity between the way my blog is and the Truman show. This blog is just turning out to be a narration of events and things happening to me and in my life, from my view-point. I guess it is sometimes interesting to read about a character's life, especially when you find things similiar in your life. Knowing how the character behaved in a similiar situation gives you the strength that if they could, then so can you. Drawing on that strength, it seems easier to go on. You have a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.
I took a day off today and yesterday night...(that makes a one and a half day off actually).
Yesterday night was to watch "A Roman Holiday". This is what ...I guess the fifth time I am watching this movie and I cannot say I am bored of it yet. But then yes, I do have an inclination for sentimental and mushy movies.... The movie was a nice spoonful of sugar. And right now, I think i'll settle down with "English August".
The conscious decision to stay away from studies and project is taking a toll too. At intervals of 5-10 mins I end up feeling I am wasting my time and that there will be this whole backlog of homework and studies to deal with.
Whoa!! Take it easy ...two deep breaths ...and I am trying to enjoy a holiday here. :)

Two roads.....

There are two roads in front of me now....I can choose to stay and continue for my Masters, and I can choose to give up and go home. I still can't figure out whether I am the one giving up so easy ........why so ...when I can see people take up the load with smiles. Is it a question of attitude....... well that was always something I had to work on.
There has been a point in my life where I have done this turning back stint already. I left my school in class 5 because I got admission in one of the best schools in the city. After a month I came back to my old school because I could not adjust. I am asking myself whether I should let history repeat. Why is it that I am letting this "not-coping" bit go so to my head, I am not sure.
Maybe if I had a same frequency gang of friends, I probably wouldn't have had time to think about all this. And yes, loneliness leads to depression leads to frustration to .... vicious cycle as it is, once you are caught in it, it is difficult to break through.
The only thing I keep telling myself, is that things are bound to get better. I am bound to make friends and find the right kind of company to enjoy with, sooner or later. The only thing is , whether I will be able to hold on for so long.
I miss speaking to Shobana, Shalini, Vishnu and discussing the latest music, and movies. Going out together or just hanging around beside the lake. I so curse myself sometimes for having done what I did. How could I have left Hyderabad . Then I had told myself that I choose to do so. Now even if I want to, I will not be able to choose to go back to Hyderabad . What I can choose to do is leave studying for master's and the only thing holding me back is whether I will be able to justify this decision to myself in a year's time.

Trick or treating.....

Life has been trick or treating me for quite sometime now. :) The term trick or treat is a halloween effect ....... after having read so much about it in books, I was actually able to see and experience it. To start off, Luann gave me a halloween bag of goodies. On the day itself you could see people dressed up in long witches hats.....dressed up as pirates with swords....I even saw a hobbit and goblins ......... and to top it all off I was able to glimpse Mars through this 21 inch telescope at our university observatory. I also saw the phoenix mars lander which is a surface surveillance gadget soon to take off for mars.
The best thing about halloween was the realisation that I am actually walking through and living in what were pages being turned in a book.

Apart from that, its been a long time since my last update, and that entire time was filled with ......welll i can't say back breaking labour, but yes, quite enough of it to keep me on my toes. For someone who would moan and groan before going to office every Monday and have fun throughout the weekend, living a life of only party and party harder ....... the last few weeks were work and work harder. There was too much of load....a diwali day project submission, mid term exams, reading reports and homeworks. There were so many times I just felt like putting my hands up, and leaving for India. Infact I was feeling like that just a few hours ago....or should I say a few minutes .....:)
(That is one of the reasons I am writing infact....maybe writing will put some sense back into my head). The projects were not or rather are not happening and finding out what was wrong seemed incomprehensible. Things haven't quite turned out right as yet but they are enough to worry about in the background so why spend the entire parah on them......(come to think of which, I already have done so.)

But guess what , having said all that, I don't think I would have been happier doing anything else than what I am doing now. Though it is making me cry ....its the only kind of work that makes me happy.(Ok, now if you can remember what we call this in english ....fast ....oxymoron!!). And even though I am really bad at dealing with the stress right now, I am sure I will get around it sometime.
What could be better than learning and discussing the ideas people have had over the years about those very things that we take as technology-for-granted each day. What better than to learn the origins of what turned into our text-books ............. but I only wish, I had 48 hours in a day. 24 seems by far too less.

Tucson is becoming more cold, and more beatiful. Daylight ends by 6:00. Sunsets are beautiful. And if you have ever seen pictures of red and orange and mauve sunsets , with clouds in shapes of funnels and striations....all that I can say is I get to see them live :).