There have been so many friends who have criticised my blog as a public diary and of it being too explicit in detailing my life. I have so many times thought I probably should stop writing.
Something that had broken my heart in between was one of my best friends telling me "how come you have more frequent updates on your blog than your mails......". That had been one of the second-last straws. I am so glad the last straw never came whether only for Shalini's comment of grrrriinnng at another reader's answer to my question on how to delete the blog.
Well so many people keep blogs about so many things.... I keep one about my life. And sometimes when I read back through them I find so many things to appreciate that I hadn't before. They show me how my perspective has changed between then and now.
So why not a private diary .... I have never found myself writing so well before in a diary ....yes probably my friend (whom I quoted before) .........was right and it is only becoz of all the attention I get here. Well atleast it brings out the best that I can write :).
So this blog out of the blue .....I did not start writing it out with a thought of justifying its existence, just that there are different things which different people like doing. So maybe I just love doing this. And thats quite a change from my first blog note where I had written how I had thought I would never join this community bcoz of the fact that it is so publicly accessible.
Having said all that , its only after I started writing that I got addicted. Sometimes they just manage to take the blues away .......especially when I return to read them. So let this be my corner and whoever wants to read about it is welcome to , and vice versa about those who don't like its existence. We are lucky enough not to have censorships slapped on to our blogs or thoughts as yet....its not what all countries enjoy.
Enough justifications, yesterday night was the movie To kill a mocking bird. I had read the book already so the newness was lost but the kids were darlings, the little girl Scott, and the little boy Jim just steal your heart away. Ofcourse Gregory Peck just fits into the shoes of Atticus Finch. A nice movie, nice complement of the book. I guess I am lucky to have got a chance to see all the award winners one after the other. Gaslight is lined up hopefully for tonight :).
Friday, January 27, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
I dreamt....
"Last night I dreamt I was back at Manderley.....". This is the beginning line of the book "Rebecca" which is the book I invariably mention as my favorite book. The words when I had first read them had not seemed as spine-chilling or insightful as they do now or today......
Last night I dreamt I was back at the Hollywood walk of fame. :) These dreams have been recurring for some nights now. Sometimes its being back at sea-world, sometimes back on the beach........ each time I am the only recognizable character in the dream. And they set me off wondering if my mind is actually seeking escape in these memories.
Why escape ! Well sem start, assignments which sometimes make more sense being read backwards than forwards, an entire "mini-relational" database to be implemented and its back to the grind ....................
But even then the weekend was enjoyable, with one birthday party and two movies back to back. Schindler's list and One flew over the cuckoo's nest. The former was rivetting for the way Spielberg had shot the film .....the way he had drawn the analogies. The picturization was way way exceptional.
One flew over the cuckoo's nest was frustrating, there were times when you simply want to get up and change the way things are going but are left feeling helpless, a mere spectator of the turn of events. I had been interested in reading the book but I am pretty sure now (after having seen the movie) that I will not survive the book. The movie in the simplest of words can be described as disturbing and a must-watch.
Last night I dreamt I was back at the Hollywood walk of fame. :) These dreams have been recurring for some nights now. Sometimes its being back at sea-world, sometimes back on the beach........ each time I am the only recognizable character in the dream. And they set me off wondering if my mind is actually seeking escape in these memories.
Why escape ! Well sem start, assignments which sometimes make more sense being read backwards than forwards, an entire "mini-relational" database to be implemented and its back to the grind ....................
But even then the weekend was enjoyable, with one birthday party and two movies back to back. Schindler's list and One flew over the cuckoo's nest. The former was rivetting for the way Spielberg had shot the film .....the way he had drawn the analogies. The picturization was way way exceptional.
One flew over the cuckoo's nest was frustrating, there were times when you simply want to get up and change the way things are going but are left feeling helpless, a mere spectator of the turn of events. I had been interested in reading the book but I am pretty sure now (after having seen the movie) that I will not survive the book. The movie in the simplest of words can be described as disturbing and a must-watch.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Clementine and tangerine..
The name of the post has nothing whatsoever to do with the post. I just came to know today that they call the small oranges clementines and the larger ones tangerines in America. Clementine was also Kate Winslet's name in Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind...... (its funny how these things just stick to memory while a "simple" thing like the Pumping Lemma doesn't).........apart from which the musical and magical sound of the word itself has made it "one of my favorite things".
We had a long weekend half of which was spent in tackling a head cold and treating myself to all possible remedies for a quick recovery. Thats the way Tucson is nowadays....... as if it has no control on its mind, the sun is brilliantly shining in the sky and wherever the rays can reach are warm ...even hot, but wherever the shadows have stolen their place there is the chilliest of winds......... so as you walk between the shadows and the sun , you spend your time alternating between whether to wear the jacket or to take it off.
Weather talk usually means someone is either opening a conversation , or being pleasant or has nothing else to say. I am wondering which I should leave it at. :)
December 31st: We checked out of the hotel Hollywood Inn at LA finally by noon. And then it was back to the highways and wide lanes and speeding cars ........ This time the mountains had almost crept up on us, so that the highway was a winding road and when it finally gave way....you felt you were over-looking the valley. The day was cloudy ........ so the ocean on the right as you drove didn't actually shimmer in the sun-rays ........ they just lay there...limitless , a dull grey and blue ...merging with the sky in the distance.
We wanted to drive by the ocean ...... coming from Arizona, the immensity of the oceans and "water water everywhere" suddenly overwhelms you :). It was thus that we chanced upon Oceanside, a small harbor. The harbor was closed and all the boats/ships were towed in line.....each one painted in blue or red stripes. There was a very cozy looking coffee shop by the sea and thats where we settled down for brunch. If not anything else, this seemed to be the right-out-of-the-story-book part. I remember I had french fries, buttered buns, and tea. There was another family with new year hats and whistles, and we overhead them saying "we started early". :) If anywhere, I can say,............... time could just stop there and you wouldn't know where it went....it was such a picture-perfect place !
San Diego routes gave us a tough time even with Google-Yahoo maps and we finally landed up pretty tired at home. We tried our luck in the evening to go searching for Sea-port village but we missed it. New-years's eve.......we ended up in downtown San Diego. For lack of enthu to spend the night partying in one of the new year bashes, we decided we would atleast eat our dinner at an Indian restaurant. Thats how we finally landed up in Star of India. Paneer Butter Masala, Naans, Navrathna Kormas....(and I am forgetting the dinner menu surprisingly :)) topped off with Kheer which tasted like a watery rice pudding.
Once back at the hotel, Vanita and I dropped off to sleep with plans of getting up before midnight. As new year approached we sat and made our new year resolutions one by one around the room - four of us who had not even known of each other's existence just six months back.
I didn't remember then ...but now there are so many new years which flash before my eyes......dancing around bonfires with all my batch-mates in hostel..... trying to keep the fire alive with newspapers, first we as the junior most batch, then one where we were the senior most........ another new-year at home watching the new year TV shows with my family............
and I am left wishing ....I wish I had realized the values of those moments then as well.
New Year..... was get up in a hurry, get dressed , check out of the hotel and on the road to sea- world. I remember my brother being amazed at the size of the parking space. We were too. You can see the Atlantis ride from the ticket lines itself. It was the ride which would supposedly get us drenched and was scary.
Once in, we had a map and it was pretty similiar to Universal Studios, run run run to catch all the shows. The first we made it to was the dolphins. We met them in a water tank on the way with me falling in love with one of them who simply insisted on posing for me. The otters were also having quite a time of their lives in another passing pool, banging the glasses with their play-pipes.
Then first the dolphins show and then the killer-whale show.......... :) I don't think there is a moment that you can close your mouth or not blink. They are so amazing to watch. The shows are entertaining in themselves but the way Shyamu (the killer whale), Duncan (wow! am I good at names) and the rest of the dolphin troupe bowled you over with being so life-like ..........top that with their sky jumps and somersaults in the air. What was best about it all........ they seemed to enjoy it as much as we were. And I am sure you could actually make out all of them were smiling and having the time of their lives....... if not only for the ounces of food that they got after every trick.
There was a sea-lion show as well where it was equally tough to make out the sea-lions from the actors. They did miss their cue here and there but you should just sit there and watch them waddling on land on their fins......and its bound to make you smile. I am smiling even as I remember them.
These were the first times that I was overflowing with pride for my camera. I am very bad at choosing electronic gadgets but that day I could have wished for no other camera.
There were rides as well, flight simulator show to explore the arctic, and walking through penguins and polar bears. And there was Atlantis. I'll specially remember this roller-coaster if not others. It is one of those "come-down from a great height straight into the water and then continue as a roller-coaster nearly tilting you out thing". It was also the ride where for the first time I just let go and trusted the ride not to let me fall. And there was no fear. I am sorry if this is stating the obvious ..........
I have always pulled people with me on scary rides before (I pulled my father behind me when I was in my eighth standard on the Appu Columbus in Delhi Appu Ghar, and he nearly died of a heart attack ).......and it has always been a joke in the family that no sooner than the ride starts that I start laughing a nervous laughter which is probably the reason behind my courage (it supposedly releases my fear)......Other escapades have been my mother and me on Tora-tora, a class-picnic to Nicco Park in Kolkata where half the class ended up vomitting after a ride on My fair Lady..... and probably the last one in India was the 360 degree turning thing that Anshuman, Deepu, Vishnu's brother and I landed up on. At the top of that ride, its only the chair-rests that are holding you in place and you keep wondering how much weight it has been tested to support and hope and pray that you fall well below it. Well at that point , hanging and looking at the world upside down there is nothing much you can do but leave it all in god's hands
that if this is the moment then so be it. :) Its more like you give up. I remember answering that "yes i was alright" in response to one of their questions bcoz it seemed I had gone extremely quiet. I won't make a long tale out of it........ yes it was scary and no, my nervous laughter I guess got too frightened to take care of my fear this time.
Maybe that was the fear factor that made me immune or maybe this time I just left myself and put all my trust on the seat holders of Atlantis and ...... I didn't feel scared. And it felt really good to have trusted and in having been repaid in that trust bcoz thats not what always happens in real life.
Too philosophical ........ well going on from there, we had lunch at a place which had these delicious rich chocolatey desserts all arranged in front and for the first time I did not indulge myself .
After we left Sea-world, we went on to Sea-port village. Another try and this time we got it. Its a very sweet little place by the sea in downtown San Diego. The first which struck us and we went on to ride was a straight out of the Noddy book style merry-go-round complete with its own music as long as it went around, and horses which went up and down on their poles. :) There were all these shops .....like little cottages with warm inviting lights especially as it had started to rain. Vanita and I finally succumbed to Ben and Jerry's ice-creams. I had chocolate fudge brownie which is a dark chocolate ice-cream with soft brownies in-between and which was heaven to me while it lasted.
We spent the night at a friend's place, next morning a short trip to the Black beach among winds ready to wash you off your feet. But the shoreline was very pretty with the waves washing over it. Then on to the mall which is designed very prettily and is an outdoor mall. And we decided we will start our ride back to Tucson.
The journey back had sand-dunes, and lunch-tea at a place way in the desert. (much like our dhaba but not-quite with the same warmth). I slept for most part of the journey. We finally trouped back home at 8-9 in the night. Exhausted from a vacation break but I am sure all of us were satisfied and happy......... the happiness that enjoyment without any tension brings ....or which comes from a trip to a new place, seeing new faces, just a change ........
We had a long weekend half of which was spent in tackling a head cold and treating myself to all possible remedies for a quick recovery. Thats the way Tucson is nowadays....... as if it has no control on its mind, the sun is brilliantly shining in the sky and wherever the rays can reach are warm ...even hot, but wherever the shadows have stolen their place there is the chilliest of winds......... so as you walk between the shadows and the sun , you spend your time alternating between whether to wear the jacket or to take it off.
Weather talk usually means someone is either opening a conversation , or being pleasant or has nothing else to say. I am wondering which I should leave it at. :)
December 31st: We checked out of the hotel Hollywood Inn at LA finally by noon. And then it was back to the highways and wide lanes and speeding cars ........ This time the mountains had almost crept up on us, so that the highway was a winding road and when it finally gave way....you felt you were over-looking the valley. The day was cloudy ........ so the ocean on the right as you drove didn't actually shimmer in the sun-rays ........ they just lay there...limitless , a dull grey and blue ...merging with the sky in the distance.
We wanted to drive by the ocean ...... coming from Arizona, the immensity of the oceans and "water water everywhere" suddenly overwhelms you :). It was thus that we chanced upon Oceanside, a small harbor. The harbor was closed and all the boats/ships were towed in line.....each one painted in blue or red stripes. There was a very cozy looking coffee shop by the sea and thats where we settled down for brunch. If not anything else, this seemed to be the right-out-of-the-story-book part. I remember I had french fries, buttered buns, and tea. There was another family with new year hats and whistles, and we overhead them saying "we started early". :) If anywhere, I can say,............... time could just stop there and you wouldn't know where it went....it was such a picture-perfect place !
San Diego routes gave us a tough time even with Google-Yahoo maps and we finally landed up pretty tired at home. We tried our luck in the evening to go searching for Sea-port village but we missed it. New-years's eve.......we ended up in downtown San Diego. For lack of enthu to spend the night partying in one of the new year bashes, we decided we would atleast eat our dinner at an Indian restaurant. Thats how we finally landed up in Star of India. Paneer Butter Masala, Naans, Navrathna Kormas....(and I am forgetting the dinner menu surprisingly :)) topped off with Kheer which tasted like a watery rice pudding.
Once back at the hotel, Vanita and I dropped off to sleep with plans of getting up before midnight. As new year approached we sat and made our new year resolutions one by one around the room - four of us who had not even known of each other's existence just six months back.
I didn't remember then ...but now there are so many new years which flash before my eyes......dancing around bonfires with all my batch-mates in hostel..... trying to keep the fire alive with newspapers, first we as the junior most batch, then one where we were the senior most........ another new-year at home watching the new year TV shows with my family............
and I am left wishing ....I wish I had realized the values of those moments then as well.
New Year..... was get up in a hurry, get dressed , check out of the hotel and on the road to sea- world. I remember my brother being amazed at the size of the parking space. We were too. You can see the Atlantis ride from the ticket lines itself. It was the ride which would supposedly get us drenched and was scary.
Once in, we had a map and it was pretty similiar to Universal Studios, run run run to catch all the shows. The first we made it to was the dolphins. We met them in a water tank on the way with me falling in love with one of them who simply insisted on posing for me. The otters were also having quite a time of their lives in another passing pool, banging the glasses with their play-pipes.
Then first the dolphins show and then the killer-whale show.......... :) I don't think there is a moment that you can close your mouth or not blink. They are so amazing to watch. The shows are entertaining in themselves but the way Shyamu (the killer whale), Duncan (wow! am I good at names) and the rest of the dolphin troupe bowled you over with being so life-like ..........top that with their sky jumps and somersaults in the air. What was best about it all........ they seemed to enjoy it as much as we were. And I am sure you could actually make out all of them were smiling and having the time of their lives....... if not only for the ounces of food that they got after every trick.
There was a sea-lion show as well where it was equally tough to make out the sea-lions from the actors. They did miss their cue here and there but you should just sit there and watch them waddling on land on their fins......and its bound to make you smile. I am smiling even as I remember them.
These were the first times that I was overflowing with pride for my camera. I am very bad at choosing electronic gadgets but that day I could have wished for no other camera.
There were rides as well, flight simulator show to explore the arctic, and walking through penguins and polar bears. And there was Atlantis. I'll specially remember this roller-coaster if not others. It is one of those "come-down from a great height straight into the water and then continue as a roller-coaster nearly tilting you out thing". It was also the ride where for the first time I just let go and trusted the ride not to let me fall. And there was no fear. I am sorry if this is stating the obvious ..........
I have always pulled people with me on scary rides before (I pulled my father behind me when I was in my eighth standard on the Appu Columbus in Delhi Appu Ghar, and he nearly died of a heart attack ).......and it has always been a joke in the family that no sooner than the ride starts that I start laughing a nervous laughter which is probably the reason behind my courage (it supposedly releases my fear)......Other escapades have been my mother and me on Tora-tora, a class-picnic to Nicco Park in Kolkata where half the class ended up vomitting after a ride on My fair Lady..... and probably the last one in India was the 360 degree turning thing that Anshuman, Deepu, Vishnu's brother and I landed up on. At the top of that ride, its only the chair-rests that are holding you in place and you keep wondering how much weight it has been tested to support and hope and pray that you fall well below it. Well at that point , hanging and looking at the world upside down there is nothing much you can do but leave it all in god's hands
that if this is the moment then so be it. :) Its more like you give up. I remember answering that "yes i was alright" in response to one of their questions bcoz it seemed I had gone extremely quiet. I won't make a long tale out of it........ yes it was scary and no, my nervous laughter I guess got too frightened to take care of my fear this time.
Maybe that was the fear factor that made me immune or maybe this time I just left myself and put all my trust on the seat holders of Atlantis and ...... I didn't feel scared. And it felt really good to have trusted and in having been repaid in that trust bcoz thats not what always happens in real life.
Too philosophical ........ well going on from there, we had lunch at a place which had these delicious rich chocolatey desserts all arranged in front and for the first time I did not indulge myself .
After we left Sea-world, we went on to Sea-port village. Another try and this time we got it. Its a very sweet little place by the sea in downtown San Diego. The first which struck us and we went on to ride was a straight out of the Noddy book style merry-go-round complete with its own music as long as it went around, and horses which went up and down on their poles. :) There were all these shops .....like little cottages with warm inviting lights especially as it had started to rain. Vanita and I finally succumbed to Ben and Jerry's ice-creams. I had chocolate fudge brownie which is a dark chocolate ice-cream with soft brownies in-between and which was heaven to me while it lasted.
We spent the night at a friend's place, next morning a short trip to the Black beach among winds ready to wash you off your feet. But the shoreline was very pretty with the waves washing over it. Then on to the mall which is designed very prettily and is an outdoor mall. And we decided we will start our ride back to Tucson.
The journey back had sand-dunes, and lunch-tea at a place way in the desert. (much like our dhaba but not-quite with the same warmth). I slept for most part of the journey. We finally trouped back home at 8-9 in the night. Exhausted from a vacation break but I am sure all of us were satisfied and happy......... the happiness that enjoyment without any tension brings ....or which comes from a trip to a new place, seeing new faces, just a change ........
Sunday, January 08, 2006
"More than words"
There are ever so few times when someone comes by and touches your heart in such a way that you are left feeling your life is meaningless compared to the love they are able to give.
International friends association from day one was what brought me close to Luann. Thanks to her, I have not only got a friend but come to know more about Tucson in such a short time. This time too I landed at their lunch for students and signed up for a one night dinner invitation with a family. I had little idea of what was in store. The other two students were May from Iraq(Baghdad) and Dechuan from China. Sitting there in the cozy living room, listening to stories from around the world ....comparing habits and listening to the amazing range of languages that May and Imra(my host) knew...... I was spellbound. Sometimes small incidents make you feel so small. Imra's goodbye hug, the painstakingly cooked dinner, the constant attention to whether each of us were feeling at home , pulling each of us into the conversation ........ small things yes! Small things which left me feeling smaller, that all that governed my life was whether I would land up with some internship somewhere, how was I going to complete the assignment. How small could I get .......... but the way that Luann and Imra and Leonard have touched my lives..... and helped me to learn about life beyond just degrees and competition for higher pay packages ............. is not something I will ever be able to repay them for. I don't know if anyone of them will ever read this, but Thank you to all of you , thank you for touching my life.
December 30, 2006. The earliest that we could set off from our hotel for Universal Studios was 9:30. Once we entered it, we were in something like Neverland......a fairy tale, with all brilliantly colored houses right out of the fairytale books. One building was covered in icicles, one had michael jordan propped against it, one had king kong towering above us......... and the cinema theatre had Hulk glaring out ......... the first thing we did was purchase tickets for the 9:30 night show of Chronicles of Narnia. I had been simply dying to watch the film ever since I had heard all the rave reviews.
Then on a red carpet, a turnstile to show the tickets, and we were in Universal Studios. (What I had been talking about so far was what leads to it). A map listed all the shows and rides and the timings. And thats it .....the rest of the day all we could think of was what we have covered and what we haven't and believe me when I say you really need to plan it out to get everything covered. The problem is not the number of things you have to cover but the amount of time that is spent waiting in front of each show and ride in the unending queues.
And all the while that we were there, I could not belive that I had actually landed there. How many times would I have read and heard about it. How many times would I have envied all my friends who would talk about their visits to Disneyland and here , and show off their gifts from these places from cousins living abroad. And believe it or not, I was standing there too :). I still cannot believe it even while writing. Guess I am too much of a country girl looking in awe at a world I had always read about...... through rainbow colored glasses.
The first show was a trip through a haunted house kind of thing called The Van Helsing fortress after the movie. I would rather not spoil the fun here , but PQP team in Hyderebad and Shobana, Shalini, Lakshmi and Vishnu will know what I mean when I say this is where the haunted house at Imax got its ideas from.:)
The next show was of Terminator, a 3-D show which we had to watch through those 3-D glasses. The effects as part of the ongoing story on screen ......... had me gaping like a codfish. We were all in applause after the show got over especially as the ending swept us off our feet. Following this was a show based on Shrek , that was a 4D experience. :) and I will keep you guessing about what could be 4D.
In between this somewhere we packed in the Waterworld show, which when I was narrating all the stories at home, my brother rattled off as if he knew more about it than me. This one too was a different experience, more so bcoz you get splashed with water in the spectator seats :).
In between trying to manage time for munching snacks, and buying lunch at Panda Express to get a discount only to find the discount coupon was not valid, I got my favorite snap of the entire trip. :) I got a snap patting Matt Damon's prop on the back .......:)))) But the snap has come out great and believe me, you would not realize he is not for real.
After all this we took a three level trip through elevators down to the next level where all the rides where. The Mummy ride , Jurassic Park ...normal roller-coaster rides but the extra punch that each packed left you smiling from ear to ear. The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were jumping out at you from ceilings , sideways, and spraying you with water from head to foot. They were just that much bigger and that much more real than similiar rides back home.
Close to the park closing time and among the last people trooping out, we rushed to our waiting show. Chronicles of Narnia just extended the fairytale world for a few more hours. But I felt it dragged at times and had a lot in common with the battle scenes in LOTR.
But with such a fairytale ending to an equally fairytale day...what more could I wish for.
International friends association from day one was what brought me close to Luann. Thanks to her, I have not only got a friend but come to know more about Tucson in such a short time. This time too I landed at their lunch for students and signed up for a one night dinner invitation with a family. I had little idea of what was in store. The other two students were May from Iraq(Baghdad) and Dechuan from China. Sitting there in the cozy living room, listening to stories from around the world ....comparing habits and listening to the amazing range of languages that May and Imra(my host) knew...... I was spellbound. Sometimes small incidents make you feel so small. Imra's goodbye hug, the painstakingly cooked dinner, the constant attention to whether each of us were feeling at home , pulling each of us into the conversation ........ small things yes! Small things which left me feeling smaller, that all that governed my life was whether I would land up with some internship somewhere, how was I going to complete the assignment. How small could I get .......... but the way that Luann and Imra and Leonard have touched my lives..... and helped me to learn about life beyond just degrees and competition for higher pay packages ............. is not something I will ever be able to repay them for. I don't know if anyone of them will ever read this, but Thank you to all of you , thank you for touching my life.
December 30, 2006. The earliest that we could set off from our hotel for Universal Studios was 9:30. Once we entered it, we were in something like Neverland......a fairy tale, with all brilliantly colored houses right out of the fairytale books. One building was covered in icicles, one had michael jordan propped against it, one had king kong towering above us......... and the cinema theatre had Hulk glaring out ......... the first thing we did was purchase tickets for the 9:30 night show of Chronicles of Narnia. I had been simply dying to watch the film ever since I had heard all the rave reviews.
Then on a red carpet, a turnstile to show the tickets, and we were in Universal Studios. (What I had been talking about so far was what leads to it). A map listed all the shows and rides and the timings. And thats it .....the rest of the day all we could think of was what we have covered and what we haven't and believe me when I say you really need to plan it out to get everything covered. The problem is not the number of things you have to cover but the amount of time that is spent waiting in front of each show and ride in the unending queues.
And all the while that we were there, I could not belive that I had actually landed there. How many times would I have read and heard about it. How many times would I have envied all my friends who would talk about their visits to Disneyland and here , and show off their gifts from these places from cousins living abroad. And believe it or not, I was standing there too :). I still cannot believe it even while writing. Guess I am too much of a country girl looking in awe at a world I had always read about...... through rainbow colored glasses.
The first show was a trip through a haunted house kind of thing called The Van Helsing fortress after the movie. I would rather not spoil the fun here , but PQP team in Hyderebad and Shobana, Shalini, Lakshmi and Vishnu will know what I mean when I say this is where the haunted house at Imax got its ideas from.:)
The next show was of Terminator, a 3-D show which we had to watch through those 3-D glasses. The effects as part of the ongoing story on screen ......... had me gaping like a codfish. We were all in applause after the show got over especially as the ending swept us off our feet. Following this was a show based on Shrek , that was a 4D experience. :) and I will keep you guessing about what could be 4D.
In between this somewhere we packed in the Waterworld show, which when I was narrating all the stories at home, my brother rattled off as if he knew more about it than me. This one too was a different experience, more so bcoz you get splashed with water in the spectator seats :).
In between trying to manage time for munching snacks, and buying lunch at Panda Express to get a discount only to find the discount coupon was not valid, I got my favorite snap of the entire trip. :) I got a snap patting Matt Damon's prop on the back .......:)))) But the snap has come out great and believe me, you would not realize he is not for real.
After all this we took a three level trip through elevators down to the next level where all the rides where. The Mummy ride , Jurassic Park ...normal roller-coaster rides but the extra punch that each packed left you smiling from ear to ear. The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were jumping out at you from ceilings , sideways, and spraying you with water from head to foot. They were just that much bigger and that much more real than similiar rides back home.
Close to the park closing time and among the last people trooping out, we rushed to our waiting show. Chronicles of Narnia just extended the fairytale world for a few more hours. But I felt it dragged at times and had a lot in common with the battle scenes in LOTR.
But with such a fairytale ending to an equally fairytale day...what more could I wish for.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Road trip,and back to Tucson
Ok, this post has been pending for a long time. I got to enjoy a holiday. :) I had not thought (rather was not in the mood to) step out of Tucson and it just turned out that even after some last minute hesitations (becoz of things beyond my control) which nearly made me drop the idea of a road trip......I finally joined the group.
So where do I start ! From the bus stop a few blocks away, to the downtown Greyhound bus station. The greyhound would be the USA equivalent of the APSRTC or KSRTC buses which took me from Hyderabad to Bangalore and back. A two hour trip to Phoenix........and believe me after the small town I felt like I had jumped some decades into the future. High rise buildings, unending swerving bridges and fly-overs .......... forget that, the sheer scale of the buildings, the airport, the parking spots, the traffic........ after my laid back life in Tucson, it was quite a few gulps to get accustomed. We made our way to ASU (arizona state university) and the apartments near that.
Our group was a team of 5, and where we were going, what we were going to do...all were last minute decisions except that Priya and Abhishek had already booked the tickets to Universal Studios and the hotel in Los Angeles, and the rental car. We got a red Dodge as our car and it was a good car .....more so becoz the color could be identfied from far. :)
I was the shutter bug from the minute we got started, which was December 29th morning. Sunrises and brilliant skies, trees on the roadway, everything and anything which seemed to make a good subject ......... and as for the number of snaps ...keep guessing ......... well all together, there were three cameras and the number crossed 400.
What was amazing about the journey was the diversity in the scenery, the desert changing to greens to amazing lawns of a green I cannot describe. Beautiful houses lining the streets and pn the hills which rose up from the highway..........USA seemed to have been blessed with the most amazing diverse geography that I have ever seen ........... at each moment that some thought cropped up in my head, I felt like clinging on to it but I did not get the time to jot it down ..... so they just became like ships passing in the night (if thats the correct saying.....I apologize for writing the way I am and I am sure its going to be a bit difficult to follow........I am trying to capture the then moment in the now and that is always a difficult task.)
Once the city started it was actually very like any of the metros in India. The roads were narrower with lesser lanes and much more traffic and more honking and it was really difficult driving.......... any mistake and you were being glared at. There were traffice queues quite reminding all of us of back home. Our hotel was the Hollywood Inn in Hollywood itself. We also caught sight of the Hollywood sign on the mountain while we were searching for our hotel.
We probably owe a great deal to Google and Yahoo by the way. Those were the only maps we carried thruout and at every hotel stop, we would be browsing for directions from hotel to beach, from universal studios to beverly hills. ..............
That evening we made it to Santa Monica beach just in time to catch the sunset. The sunset was beautiful but it was windy and cold. But then there is something so soothing about the waves just moving in towards you, lapping at your feet and retreating that you can stand and watch for hours. There were seagulls which were flying around in groups and I got a lovely snap.
So where do I start ! From the bus stop a few blocks away, to the downtown Greyhound bus station. The greyhound would be the USA equivalent of the APSRTC or KSRTC buses which took me from Hyderabad to Bangalore and back. A two hour trip to Phoenix........and believe me after the small town I felt like I had jumped some decades into the future. High rise buildings, unending swerving bridges and fly-overs .......... forget that, the sheer scale of the buildings, the airport, the parking spots, the traffic........ after my laid back life in Tucson, it was quite a few gulps to get accustomed. We made our way to ASU (arizona state university) and the apartments near that.
Our group was a team of 5, and where we were going, what we were going to do...all were last minute decisions except that Priya and Abhishek had already booked the tickets to Universal Studios and the hotel in Los Angeles, and the rental car. We got a red Dodge as our car and it was a good car .....more so becoz the color could be identfied from far. :)
I was the shutter bug from the minute we got started, which was December 29th morning. Sunrises and brilliant skies, trees on the roadway, everything and anything which seemed to make a good subject ......... and as for the number of snaps ...keep guessing ......... well all together, there were three cameras and the number crossed 400.
What was amazing about the journey was the diversity in the scenery, the desert changing to greens to amazing lawns of a green I cannot describe. Beautiful houses lining the streets and pn the hills which rose up from the highway..........USA seemed to have been blessed with the most amazing diverse geography that I have ever seen ........... at each moment that some thought cropped up in my head, I felt like clinging on to it but I did not get the time to jot it down ..... so they just became like ships passing in the night (if thats the correct saying.....I apologize for writing the way I am and I am sure its going to be a bit difficult to follow........I am trying to capture the then moment in the now and that is always a difficult task.)
Once the city started it was actually very like any of the metros in India. The roads were narrower with lesser lanes and much more traffic and more honking and it was really difficult driving.......... any mistake and you were being glared at. There were traffice queues quite reminding all of us of back home. Our hotel was the Hollywood Inn in Hollywood itself. We also caught sight of the Hollywood sign on the mountain while we were searching for our hotel.
We probably owe a great deal to Google and Yahoo by the way. Those were the only maps we carried thruout and at every hotel stop, we would be browsing for directions from hotel to beach, from universal studios to beverly hills. ..............
That evening we made it to Santa Monica beach just in time to catch the sunset. The sunset was beautiful but it was windy and cold. But then there is something so soothing about the waves just moving in towards you, lapping at your feet and retreating that you can stand and watch for hours. There were seagulls which were flying around in groups and I got a lovely snap.
I missed out that we visited Beverly Hills before this and no...we were not lucky enough to see any of the stars out jogging or walking their dogs but the houses were beautiful. All we could gape and dream about was how expensive it would be to own a house there.
Later from the beach we made our way to the UCLA campus. It abruptly starts ........ and you cannot make out where the city ended and the university started. But somehow I liked it. We spent a lazy night chatting at Starbucks. (me with Mocha with whipped cream). After that, me with the least stamina wanted to drop out of a plan to go visiting the Hollywood walk of fame but I ended up going anyways. The Hollywood walk of fame is a long pavement of engraved stars, each bearing the name of a famous actor, actress, singer, director etc. I got a snap with Vanita and Keanu Reeves(his name was on the star). :) The best thing were the christmas lights ... it looked like a Durga puja festival back home ......only a little different. :)
We came across the Chinese theatre where "Rumor has it" was being screened. We wanted to see the inside of the theatre...its supposed to be the best there so we decided on watching the movie as well. The inside of the theatre was beautiful with gold designs on red wall hangings and a beautifully engraved ceiling. I cannot speak much in praise of the movie though.
Tired and sleepy as we made our way out, we got to watch a street performance. A group of 6 or 7 guys showing off their acrobatic dancing skills. They were good and in the cold night, it was great standing there just watching them.
We finally trooped back to the hotel to settle in cozy blankets for the night. Tomorrow Universal Studios was waiting and we wanted to get there early to beat the queue.
:) ......to be continued...................................
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Yesterday's Sunshine.......
When he came running up the slope ................ the mountain had seemed greener till a few moments before, the clouds a little nearer and the far away mountain slopes not so far away. But the world changed when he burst out shouting ....he had made it. He had just got news that the University had accepted him. There was hardly any time now. He would have to be there within a week or lesser if possible. I had never felt the ground slipping away from beneath my feet so fast. I turned away ...I think I did a good job of hiding some persistent drops of water in my eye .......and I am sure he did not guess. But I have later asked myself many a time........wouldn't it have been better to have let one stubborn tear drop escape and fall just so that he would have seen it ........ and realized and stopped and never turned to go away again. From that moment we hardly got time together. He never guessed or tried to realize the unspoken words......and I ......waited. I have no idea for what or why. It had just seemed so complete........him, with me , suddenly. It could hardly have been six month that he had intruded into my life, my mountains......... a new neighbor, eager to make friends, to get to know the people around. Before, the peaks sloping away in the distance .......had always seemed so remote yet so familiar. Somehow everything changed after he came. I had known myself to be independent and to know all...... after all this was where I had grown up. How could someone show me more about what I had explored and trekked so thoroughly. And yet he made me learn more about those same mountains that I had known more than him ....sometime. We ...would stand hand in hand at the edge of the slope............ drawing deep breaths from the steep incline in front of us and the vast greens behind. Those warm hands clasped in one another's...................... those clouds which bore witness. It seemed as if that was life. ...... this was life. There couldn't have been anything more complete....... than the understanding we shared. The dependency that had grown, the support we craved for from each other........ taking for granted that the other would understand..... it was not that we didnt fight. We would not speak to each other for days and then suddenly one of us would come running to show the other a new butterfly ...... and all the brawls would be forgotten. We saw the world through the colored eyes of a child and never knew when time overtook us....... and never realized that we would have to move on. And the same slopes that had been our playmate stood mutely watching as we said goodbye. A hurried goodbye kiss, a train waiting somewhere ........ it didnt wait for him to understand..... or did he. I always wondered whether he heard me say what I didnt say, I so wished he would. So wished he would stop and turn. I needed him so ...did he not need me too. I had always dreamt how when I fell in love everything would be perfect. My hero always at my side and always at my bidding. And I had realized that love was nothing like that. Love demanded as much as it gave........ but I had walked the world in his shoes and I wanted to share his life just as I had made him a part of mine. I stood alone on that slope that evening ....... it had been a long time since the mountain had seen me alone. And I wondered if it had been jealous ....and I smiled to myself and I felt the mountain echo my smile. And I turned to make my way back home as the lights started coming out ....dotting the cottages on the mountain side. inspiration : eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, a song playing on my ipod which must be "i never saw blue like that ", and alone at home ........
Friday, December 23, 2005
Yoga... and me
Its not that I have not tried yoga before. I remember the yoga classes I had dragged Monika into for a month and though we had enjoyed a trip to Coimbatore at the end of it, I know Monika will not ever bless me for that experience. What with all the asanas and the hypnotizing feel good talk ........... :)
I am just back from a yoga class. Luann and Sudhir and me ...... I loved it. I was quite the one out of shape....I didn't need the mirror in front to tell me that. Mine were the legs that wobbled when you had to raise them to the ceiling and hold them there. I wonder if I even managed to touch the ground without bending my knees once. It was Hatha yoga and they had music in the background. It was not the chanting music but felt something more akin to japanese ...... whatever it was .... it was soothing. The exercises were concentrated on breathing but involved a few of the asanas as well.
Towards the end of the class we were told to lie down facing up and to rest with long breaths. It was then that the instructor kept telling us to inhale love and acceptance and breathe out negativity, judgements, criticism, to feel the support and safety of the ground, to forget the day ahead or the morning behind us. He told us to think of three people in turn, one whom we loved, one who had just crossed our paths and one whom we found difficult and challenging and to direct our energies in wishing each of them well, assuring them of our good intentions.
I was so surprised at his words,...................was this what everybody wants in life. "Exhale criticism, negativity, judgements, inhale love and acceptance"........Was this the same question that plagued everyone. How did he know ...that I had been warping myself with these negative thoughts all day long. Or does everybody go through the same up and down as me everyday ?
That is a different matter altogether, that I have started to think of myself as a neurotic , nervous-disorder patient nowadays ........maybe thats why his words seemed soothing and to use the technical term in vogue "personalized " :).
I think a yoga class should be the next thing on my agenda. Maybe thats the only thing that will save me from insanity. :)
I am just back from a yoga class. Luann and Sudhir and me ...... I loved it. I was quite the one out of shape....I didn't need the mirror in front to tell me that. Mine were the legs that wobbled when you had to raise them to the ceiling and hold them there. I wonder if I even managed to touch the ground without bending my knees once. It was Hatha yoga and they had music in the background. It was not the chanting music but felt something more akin to japanese ...... whatever it was .... it was soothing. The exercises were concentrated on breathing but involved a few of the asanas as well.
Towards the end of the class we were told to lie down facing up and to rest with long breaths. It was then that the instructor kept telling us to inhale love and acceptance and breathe out negativity, judgements, criticism, to feel the support and safety of the ground, to forget the day ahead or the morning behind us. He told us to think of three people in turn, one whom we loved, one who had just crossed our paths and one whom we found difficult and challenging and to direct our energies in wishing each of them well, assuring them of our good intentions.
I was so surprised at his words,...................was this what everybody wants in life. "Exhale criticism, negativity, judgements, inhale love and acceptance"........Was this the same question that plagued everyone. How did he know ...that I had been warping myself with these negative thoughts all day long. Or does everybody go through the same up and down as me everyday ?
That is a different matter altogether, that I have started to think of myself as a neurotic , nervous-disorder patient nowadays ........maybe thats why his words seemed soothing and to use the technical term in vogue "personalized " :).
I think a yoga class should be the next thing on my agenda. Maybe thats the only thing that will save me from insanity. :)
Reprimanding myself.
There are some things which I hate doing (like feeling sorry for myself) ....and those are usually the things I am ending up doing most of the time nowadays. It was of my own volition that I decided I am not going anywhere these holidays ....and then suddenly I had to fall sick which always takes a terrible beating on the emotional aspect of things. And thats it! Thats all I needed to feel sorry about ....about being left alone with no friends, nowhere to go and having only to work from 8-4 and then being too tired to explore anything else. The only thing I feel like doing all day is sleeping.
And if it had not been for me feeling unhappy and pitying myself at this moment then there are so many ...but so many things to do and laugh at. The most interesting would probably be the third point perspective. Standing aloof and looking at the world around you, whizzing by. I have led a comparatively sheltered life.............. no heart-breaks or heart-losses so far. And I have listened to both other girls and guys telling me about how they were let down. And somehow each side ended up saying that probably that is a characteristic trait of the other group. I wish I could tell them that it is the person and never the group that it is at fault. And speaking about fault, maybe even that I cannot be too hasty at judging.
I actually also screwed up one grade of mine.....and I think that is the cause that I am still deeply wallowing in self-misery/pity. Getting up and looking forward has somehow never been my cup of tea.
After a long time , yesterday I had to sleep with the lights switched on throughout the night becoz I was scared. Or was that also another emotional backlog !!!!
Usually at times like this only something drastic gives a sense of satisfaction. I was thinking of deleting my blog :) well thats only as far drastic as I can think. Unfortunately I cannot figure out how to do that and I need some pointers. Anybody out there ?????
And if it had not been for me feeling unhappy and pitying myself at this moment then there are so many ...but so many things to do and laugh at. The most interesting would probably be the third point perspective. Standing aloof and looking at the world around you, whizzing by. I have led a comparatively sheltered life.............. no heart-breaks or heart-losses so far. And I have listened to both other girls and guys telling me about how they were let down. And somehow each side ended up saying that probably that is a characteristic trait of the other group. I wish I could tell them that it is the person and never the group that it is at fault. And speaking about fault, maybe even that I cannot be too hasty at judging.
I actually also screwed up one grade of mine.....and I think that is the cause that I am still deeply wallowing in self-misery/pity. Getting up and looking forward has somehow never been my cup of tea.
After a long time , yesterday I had to sleep with the lights switched on throughout the night becoz I was scared. Or was that also another emotional backlog !!!!
Usually at times like this only something drastic gives a sense of satisfaction. I was thinking of deleting my blog :) well thats only as far drastic as I can think. Unfortunately I cannot figure out how to do that and I need some pointers. Anybody out there ?????
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Nature-ally
There is something which refuses to let me be tied to practical reality at all times. When I walk home from the University, I can't help imagine that the mountain in the distance forms the outline of a girl's face lying down , the pout of her lips and cheeks, her closed eyes ....... and here face turned to the heavens. I can't help but imagine that the house I just crossed with all its shuttered windows and practically with no movement to be seen anywhere might be the prison of the mad woman in the attic from the story ......(will fill in later when I remember).
A fickle brain, or devil's workshop or simply escapist .....well all of it has its charms. At the end of the day the house will just be a shuttered house and the mountain will just be another mountain. It was just that those moments of the girl staring at the sky and the mad woman following my movements from behind her shuttered prison just made them so real for a few moments ...... more real than they were never before.
I learnt today , yesterday........... its easy to mess up. Easiest when you put your whole heart to it bcoz you want it to go right. And there are those days, when you are least concerned about what happens bcoz it doesn't matter to you so much and ....that day everything goes right and you come out with flying colors. Is it bcoz you did not attach importance to it ......... that you just let yourself go that the latter(which mattered not at all) turned out better than the first(which mattered the world to you) or what !!!
Not in the mood to write anymore today.
A fickle brain, or devil's workshop or simply escapist .....well all of it has its charms. At the end of the day the house will just be a shuttered house and the mountain will just be another mountain. It was just that those moments of the girl staring at the sky and the mad woman following my movements from behind her shuttered prison just made them so real for a few moments ...... more real than they were never before.
I learnt today , yesterday........... its easy to mess up. Easiest when you put your whole heart to it bcoz you want it to go right. And there are those days, when you are least concerned about what happens bcoz it doesn't matter to you so much and ....that day everything goes right and you come out with flying colors. Is it bcoz you did not attach importance to it ......... that you just let yourself go that the latter(which mattered not at all) turned out better than the first(which mattered the world to you) or what !!!
Not in the mood to write anymore today.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Too abstract a post
Everybody has a past and we really don't give much time to think about it in our fast-paced lives. Its probably as some of you might argue, what people do when they have nothing else to do and failing memories. But sometimes there are these connections ..... and you are transported back in a second - and there you are...... standing in your school auditorium reliving a particularly embarassing moment or remembering and smiling to yourself at how you caught your parents acting Santa Claus.
If I sit and look back .....(not that I should be doing it, considering that I am in the middle of trying to get a filesystem working .....but both the monitor and I have taken to staring at each other for long intervals now and I thought I would take a break) the past that meets my eyes is one that kept getting better with time. And anything and everything that I could think of or want or wish for, I have had ......... maybe not at the time that I had wanted it but definitely when I had the maturity to accept it for what its true worth was and not just at face value.
With time, I have gained more acceptance not just because of myself but inspite of myself and those are things (things here do not even remotely come close to the word material) that I truly treasure because I know I am too lucky too have them. But further back in time, there are so many things that even if I were faced with today, I would try to evade , avoid .......... they were not unpleasant in themselves but I had lacked the courage to face them as I often have now as well.
But once I left my school days and went on to college, circumstances were such that I could not turn back and even if I have cried to go back to college after the long holidays at home ........... final year made up for all that in one swipe. You realise what you truly had when the time comes to part from it. College brought that realization to me more than once.
I sometimes wonder how important is acceptance, or rather if I may rephrase the question, how important is it to me...... and I know I give being accepted a lot more importance than I should.
I wonder if its the same with others as well......... and then I wonder (well you know how one trail of thought leads to another to another.....) why do I have this tendency to belong to a group and not just stand up alone ...... aside and independent. :) Maybe I was not built that way.
Everybody lives life on their terms, standing up for some principles that they believe in and believe to be right .......... and in the midst of it , in the midst of all this mumbo jumbo philosphy they are still trying to breathe and live and laugh ............... and in the midst of all of that , somewhere is where I should start learning to ..... too.
If I sit and look back .....(not that I should be doing it, considering that I am in the middle of trying to get a filesystem working .....but both the monitor and I have taken to staring at each other for long intervals now and I thought I would take a break) the past that meets my eyes is one that kept getting better with time. And anything and everything that I could think of or want or wish for, I have had ......... maybe not at the time that I had wanted it but definitely when I had the maturity to accept it for what its true worth was and not just at face value.
With time, I have gained more acceptance not just because of myself but inspite of myself and those are things (things here do not even remotely come close to the word material) that I truly treasure because I know I am too lucky too have them. But further back in time, there are so many things that even if I were faced with today, I would try to evade , avoid .......... they were not unpleasant in themselves but I had lacked the courage to face them as I often have now as well.
But once I left my school days and went on to college, circumstances were such that I could not turn back and even if I have cried to go back to college after the long holidays at home ........... final year made up for all that in one swipe. You realise what you truly had when the time comes to part from it. College brought that realization to me more than once.
I sometimes wonder how important is acceptance, or rather if I may rephrase the question, how important is it to me...... and I know I give being accepted a lot more importance than I should.
I wonder if its the same with others as well......... and then I wonder (well you know how one trail of thought leads to another to another.....) why do I have this tendency to belong to a group and not just stand up alone ...... aside and independent. :) Maybe I was not built that way.
Everybody lives life on their terms, standing up for some principles that they believe in and believe to be right .......... and in the midst of it , in the midst of all this mumbo jumbo philosphy they are still trying to breathe and live and laugh ............... and in the midst of all of that , somewhere is where I should start learning to ..... too.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Laughing to myself.....
I had been thinking about starting this post off in a very philosophical tone (:)) just to show that I am on my way to becoming a philosophical guru) tone..... but as always, the blog itself takes a different turn when I start to write.
Thanksgiving was last week ...... and I don't know what kept me from writing about it for so long except that I had this project submission which finally got over yesterday night. Last week of semester, too hectic...lots ofprojects submissions and the finals. Among occassional spats, brawls and quarrels (I do sound like a cat here, don't I ?) thanksgiving day turned out too good to be true. Shalini and I tried our hand at baking a chocolate cake which turned out quite good.
Luann picked us all up by 11 and we were off to Sabino Canyon - her home. Her home was a cozy little house ....for me it seemed the coziest place to stay in. It had a backyard where she had planted bougainvilleas ......and it looked out to the Santa Rita mountains in the south. With portico chairs under an open sky,with the moutains far away....... I couldn't even dream of spending an afternoon otherwise. It seemed exactly like a cottage we would go to spend our holidays and where Maa would say ..... this is where you can just sit and write or read all day.
Sabino canyon is one of THE tourist spots here. It is interspersed with trails for hiking and I saw more people hiking and walking there than I have in my four months in Tucson. To say its beautiful is an understatement ........ if you look closely at the green mountains (green becoz of the saguaro or cactus) you will see the trails that wind around them and you would even be able to make out athletic people who had overtaken you on those distant mountain tracks. But what would probably be breath-taking ......would be when after climbing a little incline you looked back on a winding road and saw the green, yellow and autumn colored (....could find no better word to describe the color.......) trees standing tall over the road.
That was how Darjeeling was and that is what I love about the mountains. They seem so impersonal , holding back a mountain of secrets in themselves as if their lips are sealed.........and at the same time modestly displaying their expanse , and beauty. Some of the names which Luann pointed out and which sort of stuck with me were thimble peak, rattlesnake trail, esperrero trail, bluff trail......... I am sure I would have got lost pretty soon on the Rattlesnake trail....it was just a worn out path with rocks all around and quite a bit of climbing up and down and moving around the mountain side. I had been out of exercise for quite sometime (not that I ever exercise......my only exercise would be walking triangles in campus between department, work and home)...so you can guess that I was panting by the end of it. :)
The hike was energising but we were all ravenous by the end of it.... and the thought of the turkey seemed too inviting ..........(roasting in the oven in Luann's kitchen). During dinner, even though the turkey and cranberry sauce topped the list ...but they were joined by mashed potatoes, salads, turkey gravy, noodles in chicken broth , tofurkey (vegetarian turkey made from soy beans I think), a pumpkin pie, cheese cake with sweet potatoes and our chocolate cake. (It was quite a spread quite like a famous five dinner just before they start out on one their adventures).
Need I mention, we were too full to move after dinner....so we sat around the fireplace chatting, and exchanging thoughts ........ its been a long time since I have actually sat down and discussed something as if I were among friends. It was good to get the feeling back. My first thanksgiving ended on a brilliant note that day ...all thanks to Luann.
The week as all weeks go ....was just another waiting for the weekend to come. Though I managed to watch Kate and Leopold in between. :) Sweet movie and does bring a smile to yor lips.
Today I chance happened to come across this blog by Samit Basu becoz of Shalini. If I remember having read correctly, he gave up a management career to start writing. That ofcourse started me off on one of my day-dreams......... about why am I doing this ! Sitting here and studying when I could stay with my family and write. .....not that I write great :) but its something I like and which I can do with the least amount of stress or hardwork. .......... Well then I realised , maybe an authoress' life wouldn't be that easy too. (I am always looking for an easy life .......!!! :)) So why not just go ahead and do everything.....learn, study , watchmovies, write, read, hike.....I'll keep adding to that list :).
Today there were a lot of things which brought a smile to my lips. ........ right now what came to my mind was this comment by my physics tutor in class XII ........ you should be good at whatever you are, if you are a student be the best student you can be ..........(and he would end it off with) if you are a thief be the best thief .... :)
Well to leave you on that note.......bon voyage.
Thanksgiving was last week ...... and I don't know what kept me from writing about it for so long except that I had this project submission which finally got over yesterday night. Last week of semester, too hectic...lots ofprojects submissions and the finals. Among occassional spats, brawls and quarrels (I do sound like a cat here, don't I ?) thanksgiving day turned out too good to be true. Shalini and I tried our hand at baking a chocolate cake which turned out quite good.
Luann picked us all up by 11 and we were off to Sabino Canyon - her home. Her home was a cozy little house ....for me it seemed the coziest place to stay in. It had a backyard where she had planted bougainvilleas ......and it looked out to the Santa Rita mountains in the south. With portico chairs under an open sky,with the moutains far away....... I couldn't even dream of spending an afternoon otherwise. It seemed exactly like a cottage we would go to spend our holidays and where Maa would say ..... this is where you can just sit and write or read all day.
Sabino canyon is one of THE tourist spots here. It is interspersed with trails for hiking and I saw more people hiking and walking there than I have in my four months in Tucson. To say its beautiful is an understatement ........ if you look closely at the green mountains (green becoz of the saguaro or cactus) you will see the trails that wind around them and you would even be able to make out athletic people who had overtaken you on those distant mountain tracks. But what would probably be breath-taking ......would be when after climbing a little incline you looked back on a winding road and saw the green, yellow and autumn colored (....could find no better word to describe the color.......) trees standing tall over the road.
That was how Darjeeling was and that is what I love about the mountains. They seem so impersonal , holding back a mountain of secrets in themselves as if their lips are sealed.........and at the same time modestly displaying their expanse , and beauty. Some of the names which Luann pointed out and which sort of stuck with me were thimble peak, rattlesnake trail, esperrero trail, bluff trail......... I am sure I would have got lost pretty soon on the Rattlesnake trail....it was just a worn out path with rocks all around and quite a bit of climbing up and down and moving around the mountain side. I had been out of exercise for quite sometime (not that I ever exercise......my only exercise would be walking triangles in campus between department, work and home)...so you can guess that I was panting by the end of it. :)
The hike was energising but we were all ravenous by the end of it.... and the thought of the turkey seemed too inviting ..........(roasting in the oven in Luann's kitchen). During dinner, even though the turkey and cranberry sauce topped the list ...but they were joined by mashed potatoes, salads, turkey gravy, noodles in chicken broth , tofurkey (vegetarian turkey made from soy beans I think), a pumpkin pie, cheese cake with sweet potatoes and our chocolate cake. (It was quite a spread quite like a famous five dinner just before they start out on one their adventures).
Need I mention, we were too full to move after dinner....so we sat around the fireplace chatting, and exchanging thoughts ........ its been a long time since I have actually sat down and discussed something as if I were among friends. It was good to get the feeling back. My first thanksgiving ended on a brilliant note that day ...all thanks to Luann.
The week as all weeks go ....was just another waiting for the weekend to come. Though I managed to watch Kate and Leopold in between. :) Sweet movie and does bring a smile to yor lips.
Today I chance happened to come across this blog by Samit Basu becoz of Shalini. If I remember having read correctly, he gave up a management career to start writing. That ofcourse started me off on one of my day-dreams......... about why am I doing this ! Sitting here and studying when I could stay with my family and write. .....not that I write great :) but its something I like and which I can do with the least amount of stress or hardwork. .......... Well then I realised , maybe an authoress' life wouldn't be that easy too. (I am always looking for an easy life .......!!! :)) So why not just go ahead and do everything.....learn, study , watchmovies, write, read, hike.....I'll keep adding to that list :).
Today there were a lot of things which brought a smile to my lips. ........ right now what came to my mind was this comment by my physics tutor in class XII ........ you should be good at whatever you are, if you are a student be the best student you can be ..........(and he would end it off with) if you are a thief be the best thief .... :)
Well to leave you on that note.......bon voyage.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Aztecs , Indians and Ice-cream
Tucson has suddenly become cold..... its freezing when you stand in the shadows and warm , rather hot while walking under the sun. Luann, Shalini and I settled down on the lawn of the Arizona State museum where there was a mexican mask exhibition in the museum along with Indian (red-indian) jewellery displayed. Mainly ornate silver, german silver , brass and copper necklaces, bracelets, and belt buckles. Some of the necklaces had bear claws. There were even two pictures of the Red Indian, one in his office as a member of the US senate and one in his traditional costume with the feather head-dress and painted face. It sort of time-ported you to a different century.
Outside on the lawn, there were 4 girls and an old-man whom we later came to know was 63 years of age. Two of the girls were in the white flowing dresses with the head-bands...... like red-indian girls in pictures. The other two had elaborate head dresses on, with long feathers which swayed in the wind, and white and black dresses, and anklets which were actually made from seeds. The old man had long flowing gray hair tied back with a band. One of the girls had a rattle while the old man and the other girl held these hand-drums covered with cloth with short batons. The three of them formed a circle around a small platform which was arranged with two strands of the corn plant and some smoking incense and a conch. Then the drum beats started and simultaneously the three of them started their dance. They moved in and moved out, swayed and turned , constantly moving their legs, crossing them , bending and squatting and jumping back. The beats of the drums increased in tempo and then fell silent in waves. ......If you have heard the "dhols" of durga puja in Kolkata, you would know how your heart pounds to the echo of the drum beats, then you woul dprobably understand what I am talking about. I remember one time when as a girl I had been to this pandal as we call it, the place which houses the deity. I was right in front where the dhakis where.....the drummers. Then they slowly started playing their drums and moving around in a circle. The drum beats kept increasing till they were a deafening roar and the dhakis were dancing in a mad frenzy in the grip of their own beats..........pardon me for using a science term here, but it was probably the resonance of the drum beats with my heartbeat which made it pound so as if the sound was echoing through me.
At the end of the dance the old man talked about himself, an Indian, an aztec ...long washed out of history books. Did I not tell you that it was like being tele-ported to a different time. The last I think I had heard of Aztecs, was as one of the zones in the Crystal maze. But then the way the dancers were offerring their prayers to the sun, I did get a hint..... And also maybe bcoz as far as my limited history knowledge goes, I know of only the Incas and the Aztecs as those who worshipped the sun. The first dance as the old man later explained, was to ask dance to let them dance, which was amusing to hear.
Nevertheless, after that the three of us headed to Penguins where we tried out Peach Pumpkin, German Chocolate , and Chocolate Obsession flavors of ice-creams. Sitting under the warm Tucsan sun and eating our ice-creams while they melted ............ :) what could be better.
But thats not all what I have been doing on this long weekend due to Veteran's day. I got to watch three movies in two days. It started with Casablanca, and me falling head over heels over Ingrid Bergman and the story ....though I wish all old movies didn't turn out with such sad endings. It was a movie I had heard lots about......... and finally got a chance to watch. Then my department arranged for Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie (based on a book by Roald Dahl by the same name) to be screened using the projector in our classroom. This was part of the regular Thursday movie nights in our department. Only that, I haven't had a chance to attend many. This was a childrens' movie. There were a lot of songs and dances which I felt had direct Bollywood choreography influence. The movie did drag at times. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka did not disappoint but he had a face masked with paint which hid a lot of his charm. The youngest boy from "Finding Neverland" starred as Charlie in the movie.
Later in the night, taking things a step further, Shalini and I watched Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've got mail" for what must have been the fourth time for me. But I still did not remember all the scenes and many of the scenes brought different reflections this time round. Maybe I am getting old........they say that a book like Pride and Prejudice and other masterpieces should be read once every year or two .....bcoz each time it will bring a different meaning ..........bcoz of the change in your maturity and mentality and age. :) But the relationship that is shown in the movie has alwas been one of my favorites bcoz it so unknowingly touches your heart. "..but the dream of someone is still there......."- Meg Ryan. It just sets you off on one of the dreamy moods of the holiday season. Not that I do not dream on a weekday ......;)
Well ....a good weekend gone by and another week to look forward to. Semester is fast speeding by ........ it sometimes seems like I just arrived and yesterday was the 7th of August when I landed .........and sometimes it just seems like ages since I have seen home.
Outside on the lawn, there were 4 girls and an old-man whom we later came to know was 63 years of age. Two of the girls were in the white flowing dresses with the head-bands...... like red-indian girls in pictures. The other two had elaborate head dresses on, with long feathers which swayed in the wind, and white and black dresses, and anklets which were actually made from seeds. The old man had long flowing gray hair tied back with a band. One of the girls had a rattle while the old man and the other girl held these hand-drums covered with cloth with short batons. The three of them formed a circle around a small platform which was arranged with two strands of the corn plant and some smoking incense and a conch. Then the drum beats started and simultaneously the three of them started their dance. They moved in and moved out, swayed and turned , constantly moving their legs, crossing them , bending and squatting and jumping back. The beats of the drums increased in tempo and then fell silent in waves. ......If you have heard the "dhols" of durga puja in Kolkata, you would know how your heart pounds to the echo of the drum beats, then you woul dprobably understand what I am talking about. I remember one time when as a girl I had been to this pandal as we call it, the place which houses the deity. I was right in front where the dhakis where.....the drummers. Then they slowly started playing their drums and moving around in a circle. The drum beats kept increasing till they were a deafening roar and the dhakis were dancing in a mad frenzy in the grip of their own beats..........pardon me for using a science term here, but it was probably the resonance of the drum beats with my heartbeat which made it pound so as if the sound was echoing through me.
At the end of the dance the old man talked about himself, an Indian, an aztec ...long washed out of history books. Did I not tell you that it was like being tele-ported to a different time. The last I think I had heard of Aztecs, was as one of the zones in the Crystal maze. But then the way the dancers were offerring their prayers to the sun, I did get a hint..... And also maybe bcoz as far as my limited history knowledge goes, I know of only the Incas and the Aztecs as those who worshipped the sun. The first dance as the old man later explained, was to ask dance to let them dance, which was amusing to hear.
Nevertheless, after that the three of us headed to Penguins where we tried out Peach Pumpkin, German Chocolate , and Chocolate Obsession flavors of ice-creams. Sitting under the warm Tucsan sun and eating our ice-creams while they melted ............ :) what could be better.
But thats not all what I have been doing on this long weekend due to Veteran's day. I got to watch three movies in two days. It started with Casablanca, and me falling head over heels over Ingrid Bergman and the story ....though I wish all old movies didn't turn out with such sad endings. It was a movie I had heard lots about......... and finally got a chance to watch. Then my department arranged for Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie (based on a book by Roald Dahl by the same name) to be screened using the projector in our classroom. This was part of the regular Thursday movie nights in our department. Only that, I haven't had a chance to attend many. This was a childrens' movie. There were a lot of songs and dances which I felt had direct Bollywood choreography influence. The movie did drag at times. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka did not disappoint but he had a face masked with paint which hid a lot of his charm. The youngest boy from "Finding Neverland" starred as Charlie in the movie.
Later in the night, taking things a step further, Shalini and I watched Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've got mail" for what must have been the fourth time for me. But I still did not remember all the scenes and many of the scenes brought different reflections this time round. Maybe I am getting old........they say that a book like Pride and Prejudice and other masterpieces should be read once every year or two .....bcoz each time it will bring a different meaning ..........bcoz of the change in your maturity and mentality and age. :) But the relationship that is shown in the movie has alwas been one of my favorites bcoz it so unknowingly touches your heart. "..but the dream of someone is still there......."- Meg Ryan. It just sets you off on one of the dreamy moods of the holiday season. Not that I do not dream on a weekday ......;)
Well ....a good weekend gone by and another week to look forward to. Semester is fast speeding by ........ it sometimes seems like I just arrived and yesterday was the 7th of August when I landed .........and sometimes it just seems like ages since I have seen home.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
A spoonful of sugar....
Well the title of this post comes from the movie "Mary Poppins", starring Julie Andrews. It however does not have anything to do with the fact that I just finished watching "Sound Of Music" also starring Julie Andrews. But believe me, whenever you feel like losing yourself, and forgetting the world for sometime.......a movie is so much the spoonful of sugar you need to make the medicine go down.
Our professors here tell us to read a research paper more than once so that on the first reading, the idea becomes clear. The second and subsequent readings help you to analyse and criticize what has been done and proposed. I think , and don't kill me for the analogy ....that a movie works in quite the same way. I am not talking about every third movie ......but the masterpieces which are worth it and which you do watch a million times. Each time there is a little more detail that you pay attention to and which you would have glossed over the first time. It maybe the slight twitch of the eyebrow, or the pun at the end of a conversation or just the way that a card was flicked.......... its just what had added to give you the feel the first time that you saw it.....and which you are noticing only now.
Well ...by the amount I have been going on about movies, I should probably write my thesis on it rather than any computer science topic.
I sometimes feel I am so not meant for Computers. I should have taken Literature and studied about Jane Austen......... What all mistakes people end up making!! And all because computers seemed so glamorous when I had to take the decision about my career. I know I had refused to consider any other option because this seemed so much the "in" thing.
I should maybe take up something like creative writing as my minor now. That would be interesting ...I have even heard about courses in writing fiction and short stories.
What I would write before.... were mainly, rather only, stories - love or murder (because the only twist my love stories would have was getting one of the pair killed at the end :) ) ......... where the girl or heroine usually had long hair with curls bouncing on her shoulders. :) Yes sounds exactly like a sunsilk shampoo ad.
Anyway, right now when I write .......there are no heroes and heroines to compose stories on. And its more the story of my life, as and when it happens. Sometimes when I go back and read it ..........I can't say turn back the pages, hitting the back button of the browser would be a more appropriate term, I feel my life or anybody's life for that matter is so of a story. I think all of them would be great to write about.
And guess what!! I could become a celebrity overnight by writing them. Ahh! If only dreams had wings ...........:)) Well goodnight for today.....I guess three blogs in three days more than makes up for any blog writing inactivity in the last two months.
(I should maybe put up a warning in the description of this blog, "Do not venture to read unless you want to be gobbled up by abstract dreams and figments of imagination. I felt like using the word altruism in the last sentence.......I think the word means truth or practise. It has a very nice melody to it, but I just couldn't make a suitable place for the word in the sentence. Anyway it still finds a place.....if only in the next sentence. ")
To end with :
Climb every mountain, cross every stream,
Follow each rainbow till you find your dream.
- Reverend Mother
&&
To laugh like a brook that trips and falls over stones on its way,
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray.
- Maria
&&
I have confidence in confidence I have.
- Maria
&&
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.
- Nuns at the abbey
&&
Have you ever walked the footsteps of a stranger,
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew.
- Colours of the wind , Pocahontas.
Our professors here tell us to read a research paper more than once so that on the first reading, the idea becomes clear. The second and subsequent readings help you to analyse and criticize what has been done and proposed. I think , and don't kill me for the analogy ....that a movie works in quite the same way. I am not talking about every third movie ......but the masterpieces which are worth it and which you do watch a million times. Each time there is a little more detail that you pay attention to and which you would have glossed over the first time. It maybe the slight twitch of the eyebrow, or the pun at the end of a conversation or just the way that a card was flicked.......... its just what had added to give you the feel the first time that you saw it.....and which you are noticing only now.
Well ...by the amount I have been going on about movies, I should probably write my thesis on it rather than any computer science topic.
I sometimes feel I am so not meant for Computers. I should have taken Literature and studied about Jane Austen......... What all mistakes people end up making!! And all because computers seemed so glamorous when I had to take the decision about my career. I know I had refused to consider any other option because this seemed so much the "in" thing.
I should maybe take up something like creative writing as my minor now. That would be interesting ...I have even heard about courses in writing fiction and short stories.
What I would write before.... were mainly, rather only, stories - love or murder (because the only twist my love stories would have was getting one of the pair killed at the end :) ) ......... where the girl or heroine usually had long hair with curls bouncing on her shoulders. :) Yes sounds exactly like a sunsilk shampoo ad.
Anyway, right now when I write .......there are no heroes and heroines to compose stories on. And its more the story of my life, as and when it happens. Sometimes when I go back and read it ..........I can't say turn back the pages, hitting the back button of the browser would be a more appropriate term, I feel my life or anybody's life for that matter is so of a story. I think all of them would be great to write about.
And guess what!! I could become a celebrity overnight by writing them. Ahh! If only dreams had wings ...........:)) Well goodnight for today.....I guess three blogs in three days more than makes up for any blog writing inactivity in the last two months.
(I should maybe put up a warning in the description of this blog, "Do not venture to read unless you want to be gobbled up by abstract dreams and figments of imagination. I felt like using the word altruism in the last sentence.......I think the word means truth or practise. It has a very nice melody to it, but I just couldn't make a suitable place for the word in the sentence. Anyway it still finds a place.....if only in the next sentence. ")
To end with :
Climb every mountain, cross every stream,
Follow each rainbow till you find your dream.
- Reverend Mother
&&
To laugh like a brook that trips and falls over stones on its way,
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray.
- Maria
&&
I have confidence in confidence I have.
- Maria
&&
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.
- Nuns at the abbey
&&
Have you ever walked the footsteps of a stranger,
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew.
- Colours of the wind , Pocahontas.
The Truman Show
I find so much similiarity between the way my blog is and the Truman show. This blog is just turning out to be a narration of events and things happening to me and in my life, from my view-point. I guess it is sometimes interesting to read about a character's life, especially when you find things similiar in your life. Knowing how the character behaved in a similiar situation gives you the strength that if they could, then so can you. Drawing on that strength, it seems easier to go on. You have a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.
I took a day off today and yesterday night...(that makes a one and a half day off actually).
Yesterday night was to watch "A Roman Holiday". This is what ...I guess the fifth time I am watching this movie and I cannot say I am bored of it yet. But then yes, I do have an inclination for sentimental and mushy movies.... The movie was a nice spoonful of sugar. And right now, I think i'll settle down with "English August".
The conscious decision to stay away from studies and project is taking a toll too. At intervals of 5-10 mins I end up feeling I am wasting my time and that there will be this whole backlog of homework and studies to deal with.
Whoa!! Take it easy ...two deep breaths ...and I am trying to enjoy a holiday here. :)
I took a day off today and yesterday night...(that makes a one and a half day off actually).
Yesterday night was to watch "A Roman Holiday". This is what ...I guess the fifth time I am watching this movie and I cannot say I am bored of it yet. But then yes, I do have an inclination for sentimental and mushy movies.... The movie was a nice spoonful of sugar. And right now, I think i'll settle down with "English August".
The conscious decision to stay away from studies and project is taking a toll too. At intervals of 5-10 mins I end up feeling I am wasting my time and that there will be this whole backlog of homework and studies to deal with.
Whoa!! Take it easy ...two deep breaths ...and I am trying to enjoy a holiday here. :)
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Two roads.....
There are two roads in front of me now....I can choose to stay and continue for my Masters, and I can choose to give up and go home. I still can't figure out whether I am the one giving up so easy ........why so ...when I can see people take up the load with smiles. Is it a question of attitude....... well that was always something I had to work on.
There has been a point in my life where I have done this turning back stint already. I left my school in class 5 because I got admission in one of the best schools in the city. After a month I came back to my old school because I could not adjust. I am asking myself whether I should let history repeat. Why is it that I am letting this "not-coping" bit go so to my head, I am not sure.
Maybe if I had a same frequency gang of friends, I probably wouldn't have had time to think about all this. And yes, loneliness leads to depression leads to frustration to .... vicious cycle as it is, once you are caught in it, it is difficult to break through.
The only thing I keep telling myself, is that things are bound to get better. I am bound to make friends and find the right kind of company to enjoy with, sooner or later. The only thing is , whether I will be able to hold on for so long.
I miss speaking to Shobana, Shalini, Vishnu and discussing the latest music, and movies. Going out together or just hanging around beside the lake. I so curse myself sometimes for having done what I did. How could I have left Hyderabad . Then I had told myself that I choose to do so. Now even if I want to, I will not be able to choose to go back to Hyderabad . What I can choose to do is leave studying for master's and the only thing holding me back is whether I will be able to justify this decision to myself in a year's time.
There has been a point in my life where I have done this turning back stint already. I left my school in class 5 because I got admission in one of the best schools in the city. After a month I came back to my old school because I could not adjust. I am asking myself whether I should let history repeat. Why is it that I am letting this "not-coping" bit go so to my head, I am not sure.
Maybe if I had a same frequency gang of friends, I probably wouldn't have had time to think about all this. And yes, loneliness leads to depression leads to frustration to .... vicious cycle as it is, once you are caught in it, it is difficult to break through.
The only thing I keep telling myself, is that things are bound to get better. I am bound to make friends and find the right kind of company to enjoy with, sooner or later. The only thing is , whether I will be able to hold on for so long.
I miss speaking to Shobana, Shalini, Vishnu and discussing the latest music, and movies. Going out together or just hanging around beside the lake. I so curse myself sometimes for having done what I did. How could I have left Hyderabad . Then I had told myself that I choose to do so. Now even if I want to, I will not be able to choose to go back to Hyderabad . What I can choose to do is leave studying for master's and the only thing holding me back is whether I will be able to justify this decision to myself in a year's time.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Trick or treating.....
Life has been trick or treating me for quite sometime now. :) The term trick or treat is a halloween effect ....... after having read so much about it in books, I was actually able to see and experience it. To start off, Luann gave me a halloween bag of goodies. On the day itself you could see people dressed up in long witches hats.....dressed up as pirates with swords....I even saw a hobbit and goblins ......... and to top it all off I was able to glimpse Mars through this 21 inch telescope at our university observatory. I also saw the phoenix mars lander which is a surface surveillance gadget soon to take off for mars.
The best thing about halloween was the realisation that I am actually walking through and living in what were pages being turned in a book.
Apart from that, its been a long time since my last update, and that entire time was filled with ......welll i can't say back breaking labour, but yes, quite enough of it to keep me on my toes. For someone who would moan and groan before going to office every Monday and have fun throughout the weekend, living a life of only party and party harder ....... the last few weeks were work and work harder. There was too much of load....a diwali day project submission, mid term exams, reading reports and homeworks. There were so many times I just felt like putting my hands up, and leaving for India. Infact I was feeling like that just a few hours ago....or should I say a few minutes .....:)
(That is one of the reasons I am writing infact....maybe writing will put some sense back into my head). The projects were not or rather are not happening and finding out what was wrong seemed incomprehensible. Things haven't quite turned out right as yet but they are enough to worry about in the background so why spend the entire parah on them......(come to think of which, I already have done so.)
But guess what , having said all that, I don't think I would have been happier doing anything else than what I am doing now. Though it is making me cry ....its the only kind of work that makes me happy.(Ok, now if you can remember what we call this in english ....fast ....oxymoron!!). And even though I am really bad at dealing with the stress right now, I am sure I will get around it sometime.
What could be better than learning and discussing the ideas people have had over the years about those very things that we take as technology-for-granted each day. What better than to learn the origins of what turned into our text-books ............. but I only wish, I had 48 hours in a day. 24 seems by far too less.
Tucson is becoming more cold, and more beatiful. Daylight ends by 6:00. Sunsets are beautiful. And if you have ever seen pictures of red and orange and mauve sunsets , with clouds in shapes of funnels and striations....all that I can say is I get to see them live :).
The best thing about halloween was the realisation that I am actually walking through and living in what were pages being turned in a book.
Apart from that, its been a long time since my last update, and that entire time was filled with ......welll i can't say back breaking labour, but yes, quite enough of it to keep me on my toes. For someone who would moan and groan before going to office every Monday and have fun throughout the weekend, living a life of only party and party harder ....... the last few weeks were work and work harder. There was too much of load....a diwali day project submission, mid term exams, reading reports and homeworks. There were so many times I just felt like putting my hands up, and leaving for India. Infact I was feeling like that just a few hours ago....or should I say a few minutes .....:)
(That is one of the reasons I am writing infact....maybe writing will put some sense back into my head). The projects were not or rather are not happening and finding out what was wrong seemed incomprehensible. Things haven't quite turned out right as yet but they are enough to worry about in the background so why spend the entire parah on them......(come to think of which, I already have done so.)
But guess what , having said all that, I don't think I would have been happier doing anything else than what I am doing now. Though it is making me cry ....its the only kind of work that makes me happy.(Ok, now if you can remember what we call this in english ....fast ....oxymoron!!). And even though I am really bad at dealing with the stress right now, I am sure I will get around it sometime.
What could be better than learning and discussing the ideas people have had over the years about those very things that we take as technology-for-granted each day. What better than to learn the origins of what turned into our text-books ............. but I only wish, I had 48 hours in a day. 24 seems by far too less.
Tucson is becoming more cold, and more beatiful. Daylight ends by 6:00. Sunsets are beautiful. And if you have ever seen pictures of red and orange and mauve sunsets , with clouds in shapes of funnels and striations....all that I can say is I get to see them live :).
Friday, September 23, 2005
When everything doesn't go right.
Today morning was not the best of all mornings. We had managed to get the bathroom door locked from inside and we had to use the other rest-room, which does not have a bath. I just dwiddled away some time in the office and then came back....... and after walking in the scorching sun , the only thing I could think of was I have to get a nap. After coming home and cooking for my turn, Niyanta and Nigel, the two under-grad freshmen who have joined this year came over. We all went over to my department where we had our grad tea. The feasting was on ice-creams and cakes. Soon after was the meeting for WICS, or women in Computer Science. I had three slices of pizza with coke. Then in the night we had a reception in the Arizona state museum for International Friends. The spread was awesome, with cookies, brownies, salads , dips, ........ but I was already too full to even think of another round.
Just sometime in the afternoon, I was telling myself how good life seemed. This seemed to be exactly what I had wanted to do always. The exchange of ideas, the freedom of expression, the teacher's love for what he was teaching ....and this automatically followed from his work in the area, the open debates and discussions and finding faults and criticising what we knew as facts, questioning the grounds, assumptions, validity , weaknesses..... it was a whole new experience, and something which I couldn't enjoy more.
:) It turned out in the afternoon that I got less for a slipshod assignment I had turned in. That was ofcourse enough to turn my smile to a frown. It doesn't matter but anyways.
The other thing I noticed was my english is totally going to the dogs. I am always out of proper expressions these days, searching for an appropriate word to phrase my thoughts in. When I re-read my last post , I realised how badly my english is decaying.
Thoughts for the day ....hmmm...... look at the flip side of the coin. :) and you'll find a reason to smile.
Just sometime in the afternoon, I was telling myself how good life seemed. This seemed to be exactly what I had wanted to do always. The exchange of ideas, the freedom of expression, the teacher's love for what he was teaching ....and this automatically followed from his work in the area, the open debates and discussions and finding faults and criticising what we knew as facts, questioning the grounds, assumptions, validity , weaknesses..... it was a whole new experience, and something which I couldn't enjoy more.
:) It turned out in the afternoon that I got less for a slipshod assignment I had turned in. That was ofcourse enough to turn my smile to a frown. It doesn't matter but anyways.
The other thing I noticed was my english is totally going to the dogs. I am always out of proper expressions these days, searching for an appropriate word to phrase my thoughts in. When I re-read my last post , I realised how badly my english is decaying.
Thoughts for the day ....hmmm...... look at the flip side of the coin. :) and you'll find a reason to smile.
Something in the air....
Something is definitely in the air, life has been great for sometime. What this has done is given me some time to look around myself and appreciate the little things ....which would usually be clouded by worries on next paper submission, programming assignment , which data structure to use....and Tucson would be this hot scorching desert , nothing even close to California.....
But then when you actually see from that third eye, there is a clock tower which chimes every quarter of an hour. The ground in front of old main stretched green and provides ideal pastures for playing frisbee.....
On Sunday last, even though I had not finished the reading report for Monday , and I had a presentation lined up on Oracle's support for XML data, I went out with LuAnn to a pop concert. It was arranged on a grassy knoll sloping down to a stage. Only the stage had a half pod like covering...we were out in the open , under the stars and a full-moon night.
There were all these people, old couples, families with little children, everyone had spread out tehir folding chairs and spread out a picnic and were waiting for the concert to start and the full moon to rise.
The best piece of orchestra, that I loved.... was by Brahms. Why ! If you ever listen to Brahms and close your eyes, you'll see flitting images. I saw dancing ballerinas, one among whom was very beautiful. And she seemed to be flaoting across the stage on her tiptoes, in the spotlight, wearing the ballerina's white dress. And she seemed to be playing and teasing her lover...arguing , breaking up and finally having to leave him.....
well that was my imagination at play. But music does conjure pictures.......
But then when you actually see from that third eye, there is a clock tower which chimes every quarter of an hour. The ground in front of old main stretched green and provides ideal pastures for playing frisbee.....
On Sunday last, even though I had not finished the reading report for Monday , and I had a presentation lined up on Oracle's support for XML data, I went out with LuAnn to a pop concert. It was arranged on a grassy knoll sloping down to a stage. Only the stage had a half pod like covering...we were out in the open , under the stars and a full-moon night.
There were all these people, old couples, families with little children, everyone had spread out tehir folding chairs and spread out a picnic and were waiting for the concert to start and the full moon to rise.
The best piece of orchestra, that I loved.... was by Brahms. Why ! If you ever listen to Brahms and close your eyes, you'll see flitting images. I saw dancing ballerinas, one among whom was very beautiful. And she seemed to be flaoting across the stage on her tiptoes, in the spotlight, wearing the ballerina's white dress. And she seemed to be playing and teasing her lover...arguing , breaking up and finally having to leave him.....
well that was my imagination at play. But music does conjure pictures.......
Saturday, September 10, 2005
My first champagne ...
I remember the first time my mother asked me "how is the college?", I had replied that "my department has an amazing view". My department building is the tallest in campus with ten floors. It commands a view in the northern side stretching right over the UofA campus , across to the Catalinas. The Catalinas rise up and stare back at you , solemn and grave. But the play of sun and shade is amazing. The clouds are usually low enough to either touch the peaks or cast their shadow on them. So the mountains are always alternate dark and light. And you can make out when its raining there .... becoz it will be a haze of dark misty clouds covering that part of the mountain. The picture below is a more distant view than from the ninth floor of Gould-Simpson building which houses my department.
What follows is a view of the Old Main, the oldest building on campus. The college was started with this one building, founded by two gamblers .....:)
Yesterday I had my first sip of champagne. I remember Vishal had told me as if he could predict it, that I would start drinking and had given me a list of advice in this regard. I knew I wouldn't.....there are very few things in which I trust myself completely but this was one of those exceptions. Champagne is different :) or maybe I am saying so to excuse myself ;). And I had heard so much about it that given the chance, I did not feel like letting it go. So, I has a sip...one sip. How does it feel .....like something hot stuck in your throat...just at the point where you swallow.
The occassion happened to be the birthday of my room-mate Savitha. And we made it to be a surorise pot-luck. Pot-luck is where each one cooks something and brings and it ultimately is a picnic of sorts. Our menu comprised of pakodas/bhajjis, tortilla chips, coke, sprite, chole, jeera rice, pudina rice, pao-bhaji, cake and custard with fruits. The last was prepared by Shalini and me and unexpectedly turned out to be quite a hit :). Later we (Subha, Shalini and myself) watched "Scent of a woman" in Subha's house. Al Pacino was marvellous....you simply get floored by his acting and frustrations and power in the movie. Chris O Donnell was very sweet. But my favorite part of the movie was the tango that Al Pacino dances with a beautiful girl. He plays a blind man.....but the way he leads the girl across the floor ...twirling her and stepping to the beats....well, why don't I just let you all watch the movie! :)
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Can you imagine.....
Imagine steep mountains, a dark brown in color ....(a brown not like the one you get in camel water colors, a shade darker and a bit redder......) imagine green interspersed cactii or saguaro (pronounced "suaro") dotting the mountains, each saguaro a tall green post with an arm or two jutting out . From a distance they look like sentinels standing at guard .... Imagine two mountains racing each other down to a valley and then try and see the green plan land stretching out to the distant horizon where they are encircled by a range of blue mountains. A blue sky covering the scene and some white and grey clouds ...a briliiantly yellow sun rapidly disappeariing behind the clouds and then emerging again from below only to quickly drop behind the next layer of clouds in a magnificient display of orange, red and mauve.
Well , I didn't have to imagine all that bcoz I saw the sunset at a place called Gates Pass and I have tried to recollect it exactly as it happened. We were sitting on the mountain sides, perched on some white rocks and commanding a view over the valley. The best thing was just sitting with your face cupped in your hands and pondering in silence about nothing and everything ....as for just those moments you felt alone and not quite alone but part of a bigger universe. I know what I was wishing for ...to have all of you reading this sharing it there with me. But if wishes were reality then pigs would definitely fly .......:)
Now imagine a road which curves back from some height , and you have parked your car at the heighest place as far as you could have driven (beyond is a private house and you would feel jealous of the view they command but nevertheless.....). You stand there, your arms folded and look back over the road you came on ..... the road winds away into the darkness of the night but there at the place the road disappears lies the entire city of Tucson...(pronounced "two-saan" probably bcoz its too sunny :) ) .....glittering and shimmering in golden city lights. It forms an auditorium ...one of those roman colloseums, surrounding you and drawing you into it.
That was Campbell point.....
We also spent the weekend with LuAnn, in the botanical gardens ...feasting on a picnic of chicken salad and chips in a creamy cheese sauce, and home-made cakes. The botanical gardens had all variety of cactii also called "aguvae" I think. And the butterflies had just started flying in .... the pictures they formed seemed to be right out of an Enid Blyton story book.
Did I tell you about the story of my name ... well the story starts in Trichy when I put my entire name as my first name in the passport ...so it read Firstname Surname (obscured since people scared me about privacy) in the first name with no last name. I followed the same thing for applying for i20 , visa etc. When I landed here , it seemed my name had been entered into the system as FirstName surname NoLastName. Well they corrected that but they needed to have a last name and so put my entire name in the last name......which means my name is essentially now Blank FirstName Surname...that is no first name. I cannot think of any other permutation combinations that they could do with my name now ...and I am practically ok with anything as long as they have my firstname and my lastname in it somewhere. So there goes...is an identity crisis valid for me or what !!! :)
Well , I didn't have to imagine all that bcoz I saw the sunset at a place called Gates Pass and I have tried to recollect it exactly as it happened. We were sitting on the mountain sides, perched on some white rocks and commanding a view over the valley. The best thing was just sitting with your face cupped in your hands and pondering in silence about nothing and everything ....as for just those moments you felt alone and not quite alone but part of a bigger universe. I know what I was wishing for ...to have all of you reading this sharing it there with me. But if wishes were reality then pigs would definitely fly .......:)
Now imagine a road which curves back from some height , and you have parked your car at the heighest place as far as you could have driven (beyond is a private house and you would feel jealous of the view they command but nevertheless.....). You stand there, your arms folded and look back over the road you came on ..... the road winds away into the darkness of the night but there at the place the road disappears lies the entire city of Tucson...(pronounced "two-saan" probably bcoz its too sunny :) ) .....glittering and shimmering in golden city lights. It forms an auditorium ...one of those roman colloseums, surrounding you and drawing you into it.
That was Campbell point.....
We also spent the weekend with LuAnn, in the botanical gardens ...feasting on a picnic of chicken salad and chips in a creamy cheese sauce, and home-made cakes. The botanical gardens had all variety of cactii also called "aguvae" I think. And the butterflies had just started flying in .... the pictures they formed seemed to be right out of an Enid Blyton story book.
Did I tell you about the story of my name ... well the story starts in Trichy when I put my entire name as my first name in the passport ...so it read Firstname Surname (obscured since people scared me about privacy) in the first name with no last name. I followed the same thing for applying for i20 , visa etc. When I landed here , it seemed my name had been entered into the system as FirstName surname NoLastName. Well they corrected that but they needed to have a last name and so put my entire name in the last name......which means my name is essentially now Blank FirstName Surname...that is no first name. I cannot think of any other permutation combinations that they could do with my name now ...and I am practically ok with anything as long as they have my firstname and my lastname in it somewhere. So there goes...is an identity crisis valid for me or what !!! :)
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